Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My husband and I get along just fine while traveling, until he panics. When he becomes lost or confused as to which way we should turn, it suddenly becomes my fault. He thinks I should have read his mind, known he was going to become confused, and
be able to give him instant directional help.
One day I lost it and threw the Rand McNally at him. I know that probably wasn't a good idea, but he was impatient and rude.
When I do try to help him, he says I’m nagging, I’m wrong, I’m directionally challenged or I couldn’t find my seatbelt with both hands.
Do I need to put up with this abuse? How can we turn our directional relationship into a bit more of a civil conversation?
--You Turn in Yuma
Dear Yuma:
It takes a village to direct an RV. There is a general rule that few people seem to follow in directional relationships. I don’t think it is widely known outside of RV academia. It is called the “Nagivation Theory.”
Everyone in the vehicle has the right and duty to be involved in “Nagivation.” Holding on to the steering wheel does not give one passenger sway over all the others.
In your case, you should both be involved in deciding your route and in navigating it. The old saying, “two heads are better than one” fits perfectly here.
It should take much less "Nagivation" these days if you implement the use of all the tools available for navigation. Instead of using just a map book, familiarize your route using map apps, GPS, and even google earth.
If your husband is a nervous driver, pay close attention when you are coming to decision points and work together to alleviate his anxiety by feeding him information that is helpful before he goes ballistic.
Knowing where you are going is also a safety issue. You don’t want to be making sudden lane changes, quick turns and ducking map missiles.
When coming into a congested area it is better to pull over when convenient and do a bit of studying together so you are both on the same map page.
Doing a bit of homework will eliminate a lot of “Nagivation” and make you less of a "Nagivator"
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink
7 comments:
I found that it is always better to ask the wife to look at the map or her phone when we get into areas we are not sure of. I look at what is programed into the gps, but having her watch makes for less confusion and better navigation thru busy areas.
When you took any driving trip 30 years ago, did you have this problem? While I agree that a GPS and other advanced navigational tools could help, your real problem could be age. As we get older some folks lose their confidence and get confused in stressful situations. You both need to meet with his doctor to talk about this. Again, if it didn't happen 30 years ago, you may have a deeper problem.
Get a GPS and your problems will be solved.... not only that you can tell what time to leave and the time you will arrive.. Simple way to get from point a to point b. Never fails...
GPS never fails? C'mon man!!!
I remember just one rule when traveling, Happy Wife, Happy Life, if she says turn, I turn, if it's not right so what we just see somthing elce untill we get back to where we are.
We got a GPS, my husband says that he would rather yell at the lady in the dash than the one in the seat next to him. He is also a visual person, so being able to see the directions makes it easier for him to navigate...Problem solved.....
I agree with Gene. We have found some very interesting areas to see in this country of ours by a miss turn. Life is to short to get upset because either you read the map wrong or the GPS didn't get it right. We still laugh about a wrong turn down a dead end street that ended up at a great spot to camp by a river and a washed out bridge at the end of it. Problem was I had to back out a mile and a half to turn around.
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