Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Ninety-Six Tears

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My husband's favorite car for towing behind our motorhome is the Saturn S series. He actually collects them. He tells me since they are not making them anymore he wants to buy several so that he always has one in the batter box warming up. That's fine with me but he just bought one from an old rock star and I think it's a lemon. He won't admit it. The salesman talked more about being the bass player in a 60's band called Question Mark and the Mysterious than he did the car. Now we are replacing something every week. The one big hit the band had was "Ninety-Six Tears." Now I'm shedding 96 tears every time I write a check to another service technician. Don't you think we should just cut our losses and take our lump sum and move on.
--Crying in the Rainforest's of Washington

Dear Crying in the Rain:
I think your husband is very smart to think ahead. The Saturn S series is a great car that seems to run forever. That must be why they stopped making them. The single head cam and double head cam are great choices for towing. They both get great mileage, rack no miles while towing, need nothing done to them to flat tow and weigh under 2,400 lbs. They haven't been produced for over 10 years, so now is the time to start finding low mileage models that meet your inspection. Your husband broke the golden rule of car buying. Never, and I mean never, buy a car from a one-hit-wonder, bass playing band member, turned used car salesman. These vehicles are actually pretty easy to work on, inexpensive, and parts are still very available. Your husband might want to spend more time figuring out and solving his own problems, especially if he is going to have a whole stable of them. You can watch YouTube videos of almost any Saturn repair job. They are reliable tutorials on how to fix the multiple problems you buy from old rock & rollers.
--Keep Smilin',  Dr. R. V. Shrink


Michael Ultra said...

Shrink, tell her it was "? and the Mysterians." And yes, they were mysterious.

pennierich said...

Check out this link. If this isn't the guy who sold your husband the car, he was taken twice.

Anonymous said...

The musician in "question" (sorry, couldn't resist) is a BASS player, not a BASE player. BASS refers to an instrument constructed to produce notes in a lower register, such as a BASS guitar.

He would only be a BASE player if he was a person of contemptible character. Even then, BASE would refer to him not his instrument.