Wednesday, August 19, 2015

RV tail gunner

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My husband gets so upset when driving our motorhome all day. He is constantly talking to people that annoy him and it gets on my nerves. Someone is always doing something stupid in his opinion. It doesn’t make traveling pleasant when he is grousing all the time. He does all the driving and I sometimes think I should let him vent, but it gets old after a while. He says some pretty obnoxious things.

Do you think I should sit quietly by while he goes through his ranting or continue to work on administering anger management?
--Annoyed in Annapolis

Dear Annoyed:
There is a big difference between driving all day and riding all day. Nowadays a driver has to be alert and driving defensively every minute. That can lead some people to fatigue and anxiety.

There are so many fellow drivers on their smartphones texting or with their heads up their Apps that if you aren’t paying attention constantly you might be their next contact.

If you can’t put up with your husband’s constant vocalizations, you might want to buy him one of those steering wheel sound simulators. With the pressing of a couple buttons he can fire a burst of machine gun fire, a rocket launcher or short bursts of sniper fire. This would let him vent his anger without loud, R-rated outbursts. Although this may drive you more crazy!

Part of compatible traveling includes understanding your traveling partner’s needs, wants, dislikes and idiosyncrasies. Working together to meet in the middle of any issue will take you a long way into the realm of Happy Camperdom.

Keep working on his anger management, be a supportive co-pilot and eventually he will mellow, knowing it bothers you.

I just had another thought. You could work together: He can be the pilot, and you can be the tail gunner.
--Keep Smilin’. Dr. R.V. Shrink

13 comments:

Merikay MacKenna said...

He will probably never change. You have to learn to shut his voice and exclamations out. Head phones? Trying to change him will only increase your own frustrations. But I do like the thought of sound effects.

Barbara D said...

For one thing, why is he driving all day? Maybe shorter trips would help. I don't think I could ride along with a driver who was constantly upset and venting about other drivers. The stress levels in that RV must be horrendous. Maybe he should hit the slow lane and stay there and take it easy. It's not healthy for either the driver or the passenger. He needs to calm down, don't you think?

Unknown said...

Perhaps the missus should take over some of the driving. There is nothing like taking somebody's place to find out why they do what they do. Who knows, maybe in a few months it will be the hubby complaining about his wife. Lol

jkoenig24 said...

Why is hubby doing ALL the driving? You should know how to safely drive the rig you travel in if, for no other reason, the day may come when your or your husband's life may depend on it. If he got to relax and be copilot for an hour or two while you drove, he might be able to relax.

MarvThom said...

Why is he the one doing all the driving? My wife and I share the driving and relieve one another when the driving is stressful, otherwise about every 2 hours or 200 miles. We don't arrive exhausted (unless we have to make lots of miles and drive late) and the shared driving makes us feel we are a team and keeps us safer on the road. Can't say either of us feel much respect for a man who doesn't trust his wife enough to make an effort to teach her to do her share of the driving or a woman who shirks her share of the job of partnering and complains. Harsh words, but do I want to meet these people coming at me on the road?

Anonymous said...

Perhaps sharing the driving would build in some empathy.

Ellen said...

Where do we find one of those sound-effects producing steering wheel covers?!? Sounds like a lot of fun!

Penny said...

Does he do the same thing when he's driving the car? Like the others have suggested, share the driving and don't drive all day.

Anonymous said...

Get yourself a good headset and put on a radio or some form of music and his ranting and raving will not be heard by you or bother you...

rosehaven said...

have you told him how you feel. That it is increasing your anxiety level. My husband a retired professional driver is critical of many other drivers and I was always feeling on edge because of this. When I told him it was upsetting me and increasing my anxiety it really reduced the issues

Donald Martin said...

If my wife didn't drive, which is most of the time as she loves it and gets bored being a passenger we wouldn't go anywhere as I have a health problem than limits my driving time to around two hours, in fact last year I could not drive and she drove all the way to campgrounds and back, granted we limited our trips to a max of four hours or so but she made out all right even backing in to our sites. I often see men who do all the driving and set up and breakdown by themselves if I had to do that we would go no where.














Anonymous said...

I do all the driving and my wife does the navigating. She does this and it helps me immensely. The reason she does not want to drive the motor home is she is blind in her left eye and fatigues quickly. when she drives a car she has to stop to rest for 2 or 3 hours every hour of driving. So driving the MH safely she leaves that us to me. I believe that if their is no health issues both should share the driving. I would have trained her in a heartbeat if she didn't have this limitation.

Anonymous said...

I wish my verbage directed toward other "idiots" while driving was only R rated. This is something I've known I do for years, but it's quite difficult to bring under control. And there are SO MANY targets out there...