Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Sound RV sleeping

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
Living in a 5th wheel takes some adjustment. My husband suffers from sleep apnea. He snores like a foghorn. He now uses a breathing machine and it feels like I'm sleeping with Jacques Cousteau. When I complain he says that I also snore. Do you think we should buy a larger two bedroom RV? We have been married for 42 years and never had this problem until we moved into the 5th wheel. My husband doesn’t want to sleep in separate beds or rooms. I'd love to hear some sound (sleeping) advice.
--Not Sleeping in Seattle

Dear Not Sleeping:
It appears you are both sound sleepers. He now has a machine to control his sound. It sounds like you are still snoring, yet he wants to continue sleeping with you. I think you should be able to put up with his mask and apparatus. I think it means a lot that he doesn’t want to have separate sleeping arrangements. Forty-two years with this character -all the moodiness, all the complaining, every night with the snoring, forty-two years of it, and yet he still loves you.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

15 comments:

Karen said...

Really, RV Shrink, is that the best you can come up with for this poor woman?? She can try ear plugs and/or a white noise machine. For her own snoring, there are Breathe-Right strips, which may even help her own sleep.

Have her Google "trouble sleeping next to someone with a CPAP" for ideas. I just did, and the consensus seems to be that white noise (like a fan) or a white noise generator is the most helpful, but there are many other suggestions there.

Lastly, if she hasn't already had herself tested for sleep apnea, she should, especially if overweight. Not sure whether her own CPAP would help or hurt the cause, but it might help her sleep more soundly.

Anonymous said...

Dr. R.V. Shrink is simplifying a complicated emotional situation between husband and wife and doesn't appear to be concerned about wife's physical well-being...i.e., not getting restful sleep. As an R.N., I know C-PAP machines are quite noisy...my suggestion is for wife to get some good ear plugs for more restful sleep along with being evaluated herself to at least rule out sleep apnea.

Anonymous said...

Ilost my wife,fishing buddy& rving buddy many years ago to breast cancer.I would love to have her back with me with this minor problem.

Anonymous said...

My husband sleeps with a B-PAC. I am so happy to have him after serious heart complications that a bit of noise is a very small thing. We've been together 43 years and he is my best friend. A few years ago someone wrote in to Dear Abby after losing her husband (death) that she would welcome hearing her husband snore as she would not be alone. Be thankful.

Paula said...

Yup doc you dropped the ball on this one...big time. I hope next weeks issue involves an apology and an indepth response on some REAL advice.

Anonymous said...

My husband of 45 years has used a C-pap machine for 25 years. If the machine is noisy it is because the mask is not adjusted properly. The sound from my husband's machine (he has had 3 over the years) is so faint it is nearly non-existent. Once in a while his mask will slip on his face and make a loud noise but if I nudge him he will re-adjust it back to blissful silence.
Perhaps a meeting with a technician from the medical supply company to assure a proper fit will be beneficial.

Unknown said...

I agree Dick, this one is not up to your usual standards.

Our solution to mutual snoring has been working pretty well for many years: we sleep head-to-foot. The extra distance between noses and ears makes all the difference in perceived sound level. It's a little odd, but it really works.

Alice said...

Has anyone ever tried sleeping with ear plugs? They are most uncomfortable!

Anonymous said...

George
If the face mask is Adjusted properly you will Not hear the machine.
For her health I would Suggest Being tested For Apena.
October 19,2013

Anonymous said...

I have used silicone ear plugs for 15 years now, 'cause I love sleeping next to my husband! They are comfy and work quite well. Most noises are either stopped or largely muffled.
Purchase at WalMart in the pharmacy, brand is Mack's Pillow soft Ear Plugs. Each set lasts me about 1 month (by then they seem dirty and oily.)My ear canals are quite small, so I take one plug and divide it in half.

Anonymous said...

As an RN I agree with others..if the mask fits right there is very little noise, {a lite white noise}
Also as she is snoring, she needs to be tested in a sleep clinic..I have had a c-pap for 13 years, and my husband has never had a problem with noise.

Anonymous said...

Sheesh, lady, just take a sleeping pill and get over yourself. Ya think he's overjoyed to be hooked up to a machine all night?
Mr. it's never a good idea to fight back by telling a woman she snores, too. You'd think you'd know that after all those years.
And, Doc, you have better than that in your arsenal.
Can't we all just get along?

Anonymous said...

Understandably, Hubby may want you near at night to guard against his possible accidental death from sleep apnea. However, that is forcing you into a life of misery and that is not fair to you. I took care of my Mom who had cancer and I had to get my sleep, in a separate room, just to try and be ready for the next day! People have limits and sleep deprivation quickly becomes unbearable and unlivable.
For the situation to be fair to you, I think you should get a larger two bedroom RV. Let hubby take his chances sleeping alone. Try the earplugs first, but maybe you already have. I like and enjoy my sleep. I live in the country where it is quiet. I take a heaping tablespoon of soy lecithin granules before bed, and for years now I have slept like a rock almost every night, even when stressed. Lecithin has phosphatidyl choline to relax the nervous system. If a person can't sleep, things needs to be accommodated until sleep is attained. There are certainly limits to one's stamina and ability to go without sleep. Your situation sounds irreconcilable unless hubby validates and accommodates your concerns. I have read that sharing limited RV living space in close quarters with a companion is challenging enough. Giving up sleep should not be an added burden. I would not want my life ruined by poor sleep. Your husband needs to respect your needs and take your need for sleep seriously. Sleep deprivation is a tactic they use on POW's. Agreeing to have separate rooms would be the considerate thing for your husband to agree to. Otherwise, maybe RV life is not tolerable for you as a couple. A stick and brick life with separate bedrooms might be better. Then maybe have a nurse overnight instead of you being the overnight nurse. Just my opinion and thoughts. I think you are getting taken advantage of. Sorry hubby, I wish I knew a cure for snoring. God is not counting anything whatsoever against either one of you, me or anyone, except for unbelief in Christ.

raceee said...

I have always been a very light sleeper since I was a teenager. If I don't get my sleep I am unbearable and no one wants to have to deal with that. My late husband didn't snore which was great. Separate rooms when I travel with someone is the only way to go. Life is too short to not enjoy life with a good nights sleep.

raceee said...

I have always been a very light sleeper since I was a teenager. If I don't get my sleep I am unbearable and no one wants to have to deal with that. My late husband didn't snore which was great. Separate rooms when I travel with someone is the only way to go. Life is too short to not enjoy life with a good nights sleep.