Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Auto alarms in campgrounds drive him crazy

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
It is nice that most campgrounds have "No generator" zones, quiet hours posted, and in most cases a considerate population of campers. However, I am often jolted awake in the morning by that most annoying of all sounds, the automobile alarm system. It is not uncommon for some camper to get up at dark thirty to retrieve something from their car and the blasted horn alarm goes off. Am I the only one that finds this annoying to the point of verbal abuse? Do I need to check my feelings at the threshold of an outburst response to this invasive blaring? I am sure it has no impact on the horny neighbor, but it seems to be an automatic response for me to yell at them. --Honk if you like me in Lakeland

Dear Honked:
Yelling only does one thing. It makes you look like a jerk. I would suggest you be a bit more understanding. The person that may need a Shrink is the engineer that designed that stupid system. First, do you ever think when you hear those horns blaring, “Hey, someone is stealing a car!” No, you always think, “Who was the idiot engineer that decided that was a great option for every new vehicle in the world?” Couldn’t we just have the lights flash quietly? Couldn’t we have the steering wheel quietly lock up? Couldn’t we just have the smart car, call the owner's Smart phone and report a possible abduction? I think we have all experienced an electronic malfunction with this crime fighting system. I tried to disconnect the horn on mine once, but I couldn’t find the stupid thing. I believe it was located under the bumper just so it could not be disconnected.  So instead of yelling at the moon when this happens again, try this: Picture some poor soul out in the dark, in a panic, madly pressing every button on their key fob, trying to make their car shut up. They are already embarrassed enough without you making them feel worse. Have you ever thought about the people camped near you listening to some hyena yelping at the poor devil with the malfunctioning horn?
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yup!! There we were at 0 dark thirty trying to be ultra quiet to see the sunrise on Cadillac Mountain at Acadia National Park. In the dark, I hit something and the alarm went off. It was the most embarrassing 30 seconds I've ever had in a campground trying to find the right button to push. Sorry!!! The sunrise was worth the early wake-up though.

Anonymous said...

Try finding a fuse that when removed will stop the alarm. We have to remove the fuse every night because the stupid thing goes off for no apparent reason in the middle of the night. Is that alarm really necessary for like say inspections? The only thing I think it is good for is when I can not remember where I parked in the shopping center. I hate nanny state helpers.

Anonymous said...

Almost as bad are the mental midgets who insist on hearing their car horn honk when they lock their vehicle doors. A recent stay at a Denali National Park campground was marred by multiple brain donors repeatedly honking their horns well into the "quiet hours" to lock (and sometimes unlock) their cars and trucks.

Anonymous said...

You would be very happy if that blaring horn actually scared the thief away. That's why the manufacture put it there. Saves you from telling your insurance company someone stole my vehicle of items out of it.

Anonymous said...

If it isn't the alarm system, it is "warming up the engine" which not only wakes up the entire campground, it fills the air with fumes.

I talked to one guy, who had a new pickup, not diesel, and he said, "My dad said never drive a cold engine."

I tried to explain that "warming up the engine for 30 to 45 minutes" wasn't really necessary. He just glared at me and as I returned to my rig, I heard his horn blast as he locked the doors.