Motorhome Mama

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My wife drives me crazy when we travel in our motorhome. Most women have an iPhone but she is still clinging to our CB radio. It is so old our grandkids say, "Grandma, what's a CB?" I think she just likes talking to truck drivers, but she says she gets good information from them. All I ever hear is nonsense. They think she is another truck driver and I'm chauffeuring her down the road in a rolling palace. She pretends she's hauling a load of ripe bananas. Her handle is Shotgun Mama. I guess that's not as weird as it sounds. She is a mama and she is riding shotgun. She takes on a whole new personality when she has that mic in her hand. She can be a real ham. She talks with what I call a trucker's trademark. It is similar to kids texting today using abbreviated words. Truckers have a language all their own. They all talk with a southern accent whether they're from the south or not, and in a code we could use during the next war to keep the enemy from hacking our codes. How do I get my wife to listen to music while we meander down the road instead of creating airwave relationships with "Slim Pickens", "Doc Holliday" and "Leapin' Larry"? --Road Stage in Reading

Dear Road Stage:
Many people are still using CBs. It is still a great road forum of information. I know that today's GPS will tell you when you are coming on to construction, accidents and the like, but not as accurately as a trucker who just sat through it. For a trucker it breaks the monotony of long days of driving. Perhaps your wife doesn't get enough conversational stimulus from you. It could be she just likes getting out of her shell and enjoys role playing as you roll. The problem seems to be that it is annoying to you. I would think you could work out a program that would give you time for your music airwaves and she for her "Shotgun Mama" show. Some relationships enjoy more role playing than others. You might want to consider creating yourself a handle like, "Rooster," and talking to your wife in trucker lingo while she is on the CB. If none of that works perhaps you can find her a space further back in the motorhome to set up her "ham" radio show. --Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink