Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I have been wanting a new stove and refrigerator for a long time. I should have been more specific with my wishes. My husband just bought me both but they came wrapped in a new 35 foot motorhome. He has been talking about doing more traveling and hinting at buying an RV. I just think this is a rotten way for him to get his way and make it look like I wanted it. I think I should just go out and buy the horse I have always wanted and not even discuss it with him.
I am mellowing out a little. This month I started talking to him again, but in short sentences. We took the motorhome for a trip and I really enjoyed it. I am just hesitant to admit it as he will then think this is acceptable behavior. How can I let him know I love this idea of traveling in this beautiful new RV and not encourage him to use this same tactic in the future.
--Frigid but thawing in Bethesda
That type of action is not the best way to shore up a relationship, but it does show an inventive side to your husband. It reminds me of one of my clients with a husband who loved boats. She hated to sail, so he bought her a land yacht. You might as well tell him you love the motorhome because he is going to see that eventually anyway. You could demonstrate your new understanding of how to communicate in this relationship by fighting fire with fire. Wait for him to mention he would like better mileage with this new rig and go ahead and buy him a couple horses, maybe a horse trailer too. What a great combination. There are so many wonderful places to camp with a new motorhome and ride horses. I can see this relationship has a bright future as you ride off into the sunset.
Happy Trails to you.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink