Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My wife has rocks in the head. No, I am not being derogatory. I mean she has rocks everywhere including those I found in the bathroom this morning under the sink. We are headed for Quartzsite this week and I see more rocks in my future. Then we go to all the rock and gem shows in Arizona. After that we go to Rockhound State Park in New Mexico. After that we go to the Stillwell Ranch outside of Big Bend. I will truly be a rock star by then. It wouldn't be so bad if she made something out of them and sold it. At least that would make up for some of the bad mileage I'm getting. Should I put a weight limit on what she can load into the motorhome or just keep my quarry quarreling attitude to myself. I want to get along but I am between a rock and a hard spot over the safety issue and gas mileage.
--Bedrock in Benson
I have attached an old "I Love Lucy" episode to help you through this crisis.
"I Love Lucy Rock Hauling Method"
Sit down with your wife and watch this clip. It will show you how a situation like yours can eventually have a happy ending. Remember, in John Lennon's words, "Love is the Answer."
Depending on how much your wife really collects, safety can be an issue. The important thing is to keep those stones rolling. Otherwise you are going to have a moss problem. Everyone needs a hobby and rockhounding seems to be a very popular one. You may want to encourage your wife to look for really heavy rocks. No, seriously, get her a gold pan. If you can convince her is it quality and not quantity, you won't have to worry about the price of gas. Plus, you can stake a gold claim on BLM land and camp for free all winter while your wife looks for gold. You can turn this into a win, win situation. There are many ways to solve rocky relationships. Leave no stone unturned.
I hope this can take some weight off your shoulders.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink