Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Stoned in Quartzsite

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My wife has rocks in the head. No, I am not being derogatory. I mean she has rocks everywhere including those I found in the bathroom this morning under the sink. We are headed for Quartzsite this week and I see more rocks in my future. Then we go to all the rock and gem shows in Arizona. After that we go to Rockhound State Park in New Mexico. After that we go to the Stillwell Ranch outside of Big Bend. I will truly be a rock star by then. It wouldn't be so bad if she made something out of them and sold it. At least that would make up for some of the bad mileage I'm getting. Should I put a weight limit on what she can load into the motorhome or just keep my quarry quarreling attitude to myself. I want to get along but I am between a rock and a hard spot over the safety issue and gas mileage.
--Bedrock in Benson

Dear Ben:
I have attached an old "I Love Lucy" episode to help you through this crisis.
"I Love Lucy Rock Hauling Method"
Sit down with your wife and watch this clip. It will show you how a situation like yours can eventually have a happy ending. Remember, in John Lennon's words, "Love is the Answer."
Depending on how much your wife really collects, safety can be an issue. The important thing is to keep those stones rolling. Otherwise you are going to have a moss problem. Everyone needs a hobby and rockhounding seems to be a very popular one. You may want to encourage your wife to look for really heavy rocks. No, seriously, get her a gold pan. If you can convince her is it quality and not quantity, you won't have to worry about the price of gas. Plus, you can stake a gold claim on BLM land and camp for free all winter while your wife looks for gold. You can turn this into a win, win situation. There are many ways to solve rocky relationships. Leave no stone unturned.
I hope this can take some weight off your shoulders.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Shrink,with that answer i believe there must be a few of those rocks in your head,

Anonymous said...

It amazes me how many wimpy men let their wives run their lives, and create a saftey hazard not only for the couple, but for everyone else on the road. A overloaded chassis is a rolling nightmare waiting to happen.

KarenInTheWoods and Steveio said...

Those post office Flat Rate shipping boxes are great. Don't matter how heavy the load, just so it fits in the box. Have her pack up her favorite rocks and ship em home a box at a time. By the time you get back home, she can see her *collection* and you are not risking your lives with an overloaded RV!

Mark said...

Tell her she can collect all the rocks she wants as long as she ships them home; from her own funds of course. She'll soon get tired of working the quarry for the courier service.

Anonymous said...

Panning for gold is certianly one answer. I like to go to Dahlonaga Georgia. But I keep wondering why no one ever remember you can SHIP stuff, any kind of (safe) stuff, home. Send those rocks by UPS. They have stores every where now and just think what fun it will be opening the boxes when you return home!

Anonymous said...

This is why I only have a dog to travel with. Once I was throwing small rocks for him to fetch. I decided the game was over and started getting back into the RV. He was at the door with the last rock in his mouth and I said, "No, drop it". He dropped it and jumped into the RV. No hassle, no problem, no pouting, the next time I spoke to him he wagged his tail and was happy.
Kinda like when I locked my ex and the dog in the car trunk for an hour. When I opened the trunk guess who was happy to see me.

maple leaf said...

Good luck with this problem. Lettingher to mine for gold sounds likea great idea.

Rick S

Anonymous said...

Loved the video clip - Classic!