Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I could be so happy on the road if only my husband could get the sports channel. We started traveling about six months a year in our fifth-wheel and we both love the freedom of the road. However, my husband does not want to give up his ESPN. We are trying to solve this dilemma without going broke. We see every other camper with various satellite dishes and have researched the many offers. It is so confusing, my husband has become frustrated and says it hurts just to think about dealing with these providers. He calls and ends up with someone halfway around the world in a cubical with poor English skills, and with his hearing problem cannot figure out what the heck they are saying. Both Dish Network and DirectTV told him he can’t take the dish on the road with him. We know that can’t be true. How should he handle these calls so he can end up with ESPN without having to have ESP to understand them?
--Poor Reception in Reno
You have to be very careful when dealing with Corporate America today. TV, cell phone, or any other service. They are all run on the business model of confuse, divide and conquer. You have to hold your nose, read the fine print, swallow hard and understand the scam that comes with dealing with the media and communications gatekeepers.
One method that always works to alleviate the language barrier is to fight fire with fire. When you are talking to a person that is impossible to understand, you must also be impossible to understand. Speak very fast pig Latin in a low stutter. I guarantee you will get passed off to someone who speaks perfect English in under thirty seconds. Before you make any rash decisions, go out and meet some of your TV watching neighbors in the campground. They have made all the mistakes for you and will be more than happy to tell you what hoops not to jump through. The RV grapevine is a wonderful place to pick the fruit of knowledge. Your husband will get his ESPN. It will take a little effort, but the most important thing is, “Never let them see you sweat.”
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink