Tuesday, January 26, 2016

RV solo flight

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We are headed ​on ​a trip through the Maritime Provinces of Canada this summer and fall. We have met several other RVer's who are doing the same. ​

We have some friends that we enjoy doing things with on occasion, but we do not want to travel with them full time in a caravan fashion. We have dropped subtle hints that we plan to travel on our own, but they continue to plan a trip with us.

Would it be rude to tell them in no uncertain terms that we do not want to travel with them? We find it uncomfortable confronting this dilemma.
--Bound for Sorry in Sarasota

Dear Sorry:
It would be rude not to make it clear to them. It sounds like it has already gone too far.

Most people would understand if you explained your feelings about not wanting to travel as a group. There are other ways to fashion such a trip where you may or may not meet up occasionally.

Traveling in a group often means making decisions as a committee as to when you are leaving, where you are stopping, when to eat​ etc...​ It can be wonderful if you have a group of people that want that travel style, but miserable if you don't.

Some people need a group to feel safe and comfortable. If your friends are that way you should make things clear to them so they can start looking for others that would not mind traveling with them.

If you cannot bring yourself to telling them, you will make yourself miserable and most likely ruin the trip for everyone involved.

You may also ruin the relationship you have now as occasional camping friends.

--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink


Cathee said...

Thank you so much for visiting the Maritimes! We love having visitors!

Be frank with your travel companions about your solo plans and mention you will make plans together again in the future.

Anonymous said...

Let them know you are flattered by their desire to travel with you, but you so love traveling alone that it just doesn't work for you to travel with others.

NELS said...

Please don't just travel the Maritimes, come to Newfoundland-Labrador as well. Come and enjoy our World Heritage sites and our friendly people. We have two National Parks providing excellent facilities a well as many provincial and private campgrounds suitable for any size RV. Come and find yourself again.

Jerry X Shea said...

This will become the RV Trip to Hell. That is what it will be if you don't speak up. Take it to the extreme - "they never want to see you again" - what have you really lost? If you don't want to travel "caravan" DON'T. These are the type of people that cannot just be alone together - they NEED to be around other people (we know many like that and do our best to stay far away)and for this trip, you are not the ones that want them around. Many times we find these type of RVers are the "cocktail start at 5pm and "let's not cook, let's go out to eat type. If that is not your idea of going places - step up and "JUST SAY NO."

Anonymous said...

We too have friends like yours and we just tell them that we go by the seat of our pants and no time limits involved. We seldom go from one camping area to another in a day. If we see something interesting on a side road, we take it. If we like an area and want to do a hub and spoke for a few days, we do. We do a lot of stops sightseeing along the way. We like leaving at about 9AM and stopping by 3PM. Some days we have done 300 miles or only 50 miles during that time period. When we explained that is how we travel, our friends declined to go with us on the trip. Too unpredictable for them. You may want to try this.

jean said...

Another possible way to handle this would simply be to truthfully say that your plans are not made (or solid, or whatever) yet - but you really do hope to run across them sometime this (winter, spring, etc).
At best - you would be considered 'disorganized' - . Nothing is more difficult than trying to plan a trip with someone elses who insist on tilting it to their plans.........and you lose also the flexibility of the road - the joy of good timing and that pleasure of doing your own thing. Last possibility - give ONE location where you plan to be - knowing that you may have them on your route from there on.....good luck! Jean