RV foreign affairs

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I don’t think you have heard this one before. I read about a lot of women questioning their husband's actions after retiring. Since we've started RVing, my husband is a nut in a good way. Yet sometimes I also wonder if he is going off the deep end. His newest hobby is pretending to be a foreigner. It’s his opinion that foreigners get better treatment at the state and national parks we visit. When things get dicey and we may not be able to get a campsite, he becomes a Frenchman. He can’t speak French he just makes up his own words with a French accent. After babbling on and acting confused, the ranger usually just finds someplace for us to park and we have to be French for a few days or not speak to anyone. This week we are German. I talked to him about his behavior and he did stop for awhile. Then one day my computer went haywire and he called for tech help. He couldn’t understand a word they were saying. He hung up, called back and began to stutter. Now they couldn’t understand him. Immediately they transferred him to an English speaking tech rep who solved our problem. Other than this theatrical flare for getting his way, he’s a funny, friendly guy. I’m just not sure what nationality we are going to be when we pull up to a park gate.
-- RV UN ambassador

Dear Ambassador:
I think I have heard it all and then your email shows up. Now every time I run into a foreigner in a campground I’m going to be suspect. It is getting harder every season to get into popular parks. Maybe your husband is on to something. Perhaps only the dramatically challenged will be left spaceless or in overflow. I have never noticed foreign campers getting preferential treatment. He should be careful because park service employees are often bilingual and he just may get called out one of these times. You aren’t in Nevada are you? I just camped near a couple from Alberta with an Aussie accent. I don’t think that put them any further ahead in the queue for a campsite, but who knows. Since you are partners in verbal disguise, I think you should have a say in what nationality you are going to be at each stay. I think the perfect situation would be to secure a position at a park that needs volunteers for historical reenactment. They would provide you with a site and you could be someone else. Life is full of possibilities. They say you can be whatever you want. I guess your husband is proof of that.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink