RV SHRINK, Common Sense Peddler

RV catastrophe

2012-02-29T10:27:00.002-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:

We have been considering selling our home, buying a motor home and traveling full-time. There are several things about that lifestyle that my wife and I do not agree on. The biggest obstacle is our 14 year old cat. She wants to take the cat and I think that's a bad idea. I have taken that cat in the car to the vet on occasion and he freaks out and howls during the whole trip. I can picture us traveling throughout North America with a howling cat screeching in my ear. Can you give us some direction to common ground on this issue. Thanks in advance.

--Categorically Against Traveling with Felix

Dear Cat:

If Felix is your biggest obstacle, I think you're well on your way to forever together along North America's Blue Highways. A cat is an easy pet to travel with. Steinbeck preferred a standard Poodle and wrote a best-selling book about his dog peeing on every bush in America. I can't picture John rambling around in the morning with a rubber glove picking up Charlie scat, but who knows. Maybe his editor just cut those passages. Least Heat-Moon did the same thing without a pet but missed all the love and adoration that beams from furry companions who give even when we don't deserve it.

I'm not saying a traveling pet does not come without some maintenance. We travel with two cats. There is the litter to deal with. They like to steal themselves into tight places and hide. Our checklist includes checking for cats above the slides before deploying them. That could be a real catastrophe. We have had them bail out in an area cordoned off as a grizzly bluff charge area in Alaska and jump out in New Mexico and run across the border to Mexico. Both times my wife sent me to find them. They have escaped a couple times in Glacier and Rocky Mountain NP among hundreds of other rigs and they eventually figured out which one was theirs and returned home in the middle of the night crying at the roof vent. But those events are few and far between. We take precautions so our cats do not get out, both for their protection and local wildlife. We have suction cup bird feeders that keep the cats continually entertained. They have seen more birds around North America than most Life List tracking birders. But after 30+ years we do have some stories to tell.

The downside is we have friends allergic to cats and it limits their visitations to our rig.

A trip to the vet is a bit different than traveling in a home on wheels. Felix will eventually become adapted to his new home and find his comfort zone. We have one that hides under the couch as soon as she notices me going for the driver's seat. The other one sits on the dashboard and helps me navigate.

I can't imagine you actually expect your wife to give up a cat you've had for 14 years. The only difference between my child and my cat is that the cat listens to me and doesn't talk back. Take Felix the "wonderful, wonderful cat" with you, and move on to solve the next issue you have.

Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

New Mexico State Parks

2012-02-22T15:07:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I have read your columns about state parks being so expensive and I agree to a degree. I am in New Mexico and hear you can buy an annual pass for $100 as a resident and $225 as a non-resident and dry camp free all year in the New Mexico State Park system. If you want electricity, it costs $5 dollars per night. It sounds like a great deal, and to some degree it is. However, I can't always find a site because so many people are now living in the New Mexico Park system. After 21 days they have to move out for six, but I don't even think that is enforced. Low fees seem to equate to a high percentage of people living in their vehicles in state and local parks. I personally would like to see higher prices that would nip this problem in the bud.
--Evicted by vagrants in Valencia

Dear Evicted:
Having stayed in many New Mexico state parks and having purchased just such a pass in the past, I have to say I think you may be exaggerating a bit or just had a bad experience and are wanting to vent a little. Venting is healthy, so I don't want to prevent you from blowing off a little steam, but let's examine the reality of the situation. I will start with your definition of a vagrant. I don't think it describes paying customers of New Mexico state parks. If you pay your money, you can play the game. These people are all camping legally. You may not like their rig or their lifestyle but they probably didn't take you into consideration when choosing their lifestyle. You should go over and introduce yourself to some of these people. You will find them very interesting. Some are a product of the great recession, and others just prefer a simple lifestyle. No matter what you have heard about, "size matters," it's not true. I was once busted in a Florida state park for sleeping in my Buick. I didn't appreciate it and did some major league venting myself. That just made the host go roust the ranger out of bed in the middle of the night, and when he arrived he already had a chip on his shoulder. Although there were people sleeping in utility vans in the site next to me, he said I could not sleep in my Buick. I threw my sleeping bag on the ground and started to climb in. He then told me I couldn't sleep on the ground without a tent. After asking him if he had ever heard of Daniel Boone he threatened to arrest me if I didn't erect proper camping gear.
I don't know what time of the year you find New Mexico parks so full of long-term campers that you can't get in, but I have never been turned away from a New Mexico state park with no vacancy. I don't think it is a common occurrence, but again, first come first serve. Not everyone living this lifestyle sleeps in a passenger vehicle. Many follow the sun in RV's of all sizes, move from park to park and spend a season or more in the system because they enjoy the scenery, the price, and yes, even the company. My suggestion would be to get out and mix a little, challenge your fears and prejudice, and just see if this changes your attitude about your surroundings while taking the same advantage of a system with beautiful parks and reasonable rates.

--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

Road Work

2012-02-14T05:08:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We have been traveling in our fifth wheel home for two years. We are both retired teachers. I actually get bored once in awhile and think about working part-time but do not want to make any long term commitments. My wife thinks I'm nuts. I don't need the money, I don't want to do any of the jobs I see posted on workcamping sites, and I only want short stints here and there. Besides thinking I'm nuts, my wife tells me I'm delusional if I think I'm going to find interesting work whenever I decide I want it. I'm not asking you to find me a job, I'm just curious if you think I'm delusional. I'm writing you because I know my wife reads your column every week. Maybe if you give me some words of encouragement she will take me more seriously. I just feel working occasionally would broaden our travel experience and that I should not be accused of being a workaholic.
--Working it out in West Texas

Dear Tex:
You're not delusional, you just haven't figured it all out yet. I have no idea what kind of work you are looking for, but I can tell you it's there if you pursue it aggressively enough.
A great way to find interesting, short term, jobs while traveling would be to sign up with a temporary service such as Kelly Services and Manpower. I can tell you from personal experience that they have all kinds of diverse job opportunities. At one time I thought I was the George Plimpton of the working class. My wife and I had over a hundred jobs in seven years working mostly through temp services wherever we wanted to live for awhile. My wife worked mostly clerical jobs, but I dispensed beer, moved office equipment, delivered furniture, worked at a thoroughbred horse auction, fish processor, gold mine, and got paid for filling up helium balloons, just to mention a few. Between the temp services and networking with people you meet along the way, you will turn down many more jobs than you actually take. Many of these opportunities can be as short term as one day, a weekend, a week or a month. That should solve any disagreement the two of you have as to how long you want to spend in one area. You can work together or get some alone time.
The bonus to this whole program is you are going to meet a whole slew of new friends. Some of our best friends, all over the country, we met working various jobs while we traveled.
There are numerous little online businesses you could start and do anywhere. Maybe you should start by working on a plan. Plan your work and work your plan.
I just had a brilliant idea this morning. I just bought a new Winnebago. I told my wife we could operate a "designated driver service" every weekend. We could drive around local watering holes and offer rides to people over the legal limit. I told her we would call it "Bagawino." She thinks I'm nuts.

--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

Modern RV Daniel Boone

2012-02-08T05:45:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I think I created a monster. My wife has become obsessive with finding natural, remote camping sites that are between cheap and free. When we first bought our Class C motorhome I said we needed a small rig. I wanted to get away from the maddening crowds. Our previous rig was a 38 ft. Class A, and we discovered quickly that this big, comfortable motorhome would not allow us to squeeze into many camping areas we cherish. Now that we have the smaller rig, my wife spends hours on the computer scouring websites and forums looking for clues to off the beaten path campsites. We do end up in some really nice sites, but I don't think it is healthy for her to spend so much time searching for them. She says it is a very enjoyable hobby, no different than metal detecting, photography, rockhounding or geocaching. I don't want to deny her whatever enjoyment she gets from this excessiveness, but it just doesn't seem natural. Should I just shut up and drive, or do you agree that this is an odd pastime.
--Daniel in the Boondocks

Dear Dan:
It all seems perfectly normal to me. There is a mutual aid service for people like your wife called BA (Boondockers Anonymous). It does not try to discourage members from spending time looking for remote camping, but it does encourage the sharing of information they find. This way other members will spend less time looking and more time finding.
Seriously, I have to question your hang-up with this "hobby" your wife seems to enjoy. I met a campground host that spent all her free time playing the computer game Farmville. Although I find that odd, she found it very enjoyable. There are different strokes for different folks. I actually spend a fair amount of time surfing the web for unique camping areas, and I often find some real gems that I have driven right by for years.
There are some great ebooks available online today with all kinds of good info on this very subject. I just read "RV Boondocking in Arizona," published by the Frugal Shunpikers.

Click here to visit Frugal Shunpikers Guides to RV Boondocking.

I thought I knew every nook and cranny in Arizona, but after reading this well written guide I was enlightened about many places I plan to explore over the next couple months. Also, there are many websites such as freecampgrounds.com that can steer you in the right direction. I also use RV forums for all kinds of great information including camping alternatives. Yes, I am a proud, longstanding member of BA. There is no twelve step program, but we have a great Texas Two Step that everyone seems to enjoy.
I am a great believer that the most important element of a successful relationship is communications. That is doubly important if you live in the close quarters of an RV. So don't shut up, just drive.

--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV Lemonade Line

2012-02-01T06:36:00.001-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We just started traveling in our new travel trailer this winter. I was looking forward to a snowless winter of adventure and sightseeing. So far it has been a winter of waiting on parts and camping in large RV dealership lots waiting for service. My whole outlook on the economy has changed. I thought the country was in a slump, but not according to the line of people queued up waiting for service on their trailers, fifth wheels, motorhomes and vans. My husband says we just have to get all the bugs worked out on this maiden voyage and then it will be different. I keep thinking about the old boat definition: A bottomless hole you keep throwing money into. I am trying to stay positive and confident that our adventurous travel will happen eventually, but it's hard. Do all people go through this process or did we just end up with a lemon that I am having a hard time making lemonade out of.
--Soured on Service in Sedona

Dear Soured:
It sounds like you might be having an abnormal amount of service related problems. I am assuming you are under warranty, as you mention "new" travel trailer. Regardless of that, I agree it is no fun parked in or around a service facility waiting for work to be done. The standard response when seeking service work from a large dealer during peak season is, "It's a hundred dollars an hour, about a weeks wait, and we will need you to move out of your rig." That response can ruin anyone's attitude about RV travel. I do not know what types of problems you are having, but I like your comparison to a boat.
One secret is to develop a thorough understanding of all the systems that keep your rig rolling happily down the road. That has never been easier. Most RVs all have the same basic equipment. Even if you are not mechanically inclined you can glean diagnostic information from the internet today. You can troll the RV forums, watch How-to repair videos, and talk to fellow campers. You would be surprised how many problems you can fix on your own with just a bit of studying. Knowledge is king. Every problem you can solve on your own eliminates a line at the lemon factory repair facility. A heater problem is often a plug & play control board, a refrigerator problem might be a simple ignitor. It is simple today to find and order parts online and have them shipped anywhere. Once you become familiar with your rig and how it functions you will travel with much more confidence, have many less pit stops and save a truckload of money on problems that are not covered by warranty. This is one suggestion on turning your lemon into lemonade.
The RV forums will also give you great advice on "where" and "where not" to have service work done. Listen to the masses that have already been led to the slaughter instead of making all the mistakes on your own.

--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

Old couple caught parking

2012-01-25T15:40:00.001-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I am very upset with my husband. We were just fined $150 for illegally parking overnight in a Florida marina parking lot in the middle of nowhere. He says it is partly my fault because I should have seen the sign. I'm 78 years old. I'm just happy if I can see tomorrow. I told him when he decided to spend the night there that it didn't seem right. If it was legal why weren't there several other RVers enjoying this same spectacular view of the Gulf of Mexico. My husband is tighter than a wax dolls ear canal, so he convinced me it was fine. When the officer rousted us in the middle of the night and issued a ticket, he pointed out a sign about the size of a small business card. I think it bordered on entrapment. I would be curious as to how many others have been issued this same fine. I could have stayed at the Ritz for that kind of money. I have been giving my husband the hot tongue and cold shoulder for a week for trying to put the blame on me. Do you think I should be mad at him or the Gulf county Florida authorities.
--Too Old to be Caught Parking in the Panhandle

Dear Too Old:
If you were parked where I think you were, I wouldn't place the blame on your husband. I've seen that sign and it always left me with the impression that the county couldn't afford a normal sized sign or they had other motives. Your experience is something many of us dedicated boon-dockers have experienced. Usually it is a verbal warning, but these are hard times and many local governments are feeling the pinch and pinching more people to plug up their economic plumbing. There are areas that you should always be suspect. The whole state of Florida is one of those areas. It does not have the wide open spaces and massive Federal lands of the western states. It is brimming with RVers in the winter who have already worn out the boon-docker welcome. If it looks questionable, and you have internet and cell connection, call the local authorities and check. You would be surprised how many nice places exist for safe overnight parking by just checking in with the local authorities. They can also give you a heads up if there has been any problems in the area lately. Many small towns have city and county parks that are free, or reasonable, just to welcome visitors. Part of the problem today is that those same authorities are dealing with their own residents who have lost their homes and have moved into these parks with RVs as a means to survive. So, c'est la vie! Scat happens. You will make it up with the next dozen free nights you can find. Think of boon-docking like geo-caching. Most of the time you find a treasure, but on occasion you get skunked. I know it stinks, but you just got skunked.

--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

Camping free now has fee

2012-01-18T05:07:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We have been RVer's for many years. My wife and I would be considered "on our way to forever together." We are both well into our golden years and think alike. Lately we grumble more often about the cost of things we enjoy, especially camping fees. Is it just our age? We remember when increases were 3-5%, but now they seem to jump 20-40% at a crack. We have watched camping fees rise over the years at a steady normal pace but now we see some of our favorite places almost doubling in price, while at the same time cutting service and maintenance. Are we just getting crotchety in our old age or do we have a valid concern?
--California Dreamin' of the good ole days

Dear Cal:
It is normal for aging RVer's to remember cheap gas, less crowds, inexpensive camping fees, and less bureaucracy. The dynamics of RV travel seems to be changing at a faster pace now for a couple or reasons. First, the "boomers are coming." Many of the offspring of the "Greatest Generation" are beginning to retire and hit the road. So supply and demand will play an ever increasing part in price leveraging as this wave of aging demographics swells into a tsunami. Let's not forget the implications of the "Great Recession." Government large and small trying to cover budget shortfalls are squeezing every potential penny they can from services rendered. We are already seeing federal, state and county run camping areas increasing fees, sometimes as much as 100%. This has a ripple effect on economies that rely on tourist dollars.

(Recent News On Californnia Parks)

The headline two years ago was, "Arizona with a multimillion dollar shortfall to close most state parks." As it turns out, states found that it cost them even more to close the parks because they had accepted money from the Fed to develop them and would have to reimburse. But it also brought to the surface how many small businesses rely on these parks for business survival. Although many parks of all sizes have opted to remain open in the face of financial woe, many have been forced to apply the large percentage increases you are seeing.
Remember adversity builds character, but also innovation. I can remember my father saying in the fifties, "Someone should start a chain of trailer parks." That was when we would park our Airstream at AW Root Beer stands, gas stations, or anywhere else my dad could get an electric hookup. Soon we had KOA.
Now we are seeing groups like the Escapees develop membership parks, friends buying property as co-ops, and as I have mentioned in other blogs, people staking mining claims to use as legal camping while they supposedly search for gold.
RVing is still a great lifestyle and your prospective of it depends on how long you have been at it. For those on a tight budget, you just have to think outside of the box. (No pun intended).
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

Horsin' around in a new RV

2012-01-11T07:35:00.001-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I have been wanting a new stove and refrigerator for a long time. I should have been more specific with my wishes. My husband just bought me both but they came wrapped in a new 35 foot motorhome. He has been talking about doing more traveling and hinting at buying an RV. I just think this is a rotten way for him to get his way and make it look like I wanted it. I think I should just go out and buy the horse I have always wanted and not even discuss it with him.
I am mellowing out a little. This month I started talking to him again, but in short sentences. We took the motorhome for a trip and I really enjoyed it. I am just hesitant to admit it as he will then think this is acceptable behavior. How can I let him know I love this idea of traveling in this beautiful new RV and not encourage him to use this same tactic in the future.
--Frigid but thawing in Bethesda

Dear Beth:
That type of action is not the best way to shore up a relationship, but it does show an inventive side to your husband. It reminds me of one of my clients with a husband who loved boats. She hated to sail, so he bought her a land yacht. You might as well tell him you love the motorhome because he is going to see that eventually anyway. You could demonstrate your new understanding of how to communicate in this relationship by fighting fire with fire. Wait for him to mention he would like better mileage with this new rig and go ahead and buy him a couple horses, maybe a horse trailer too. What a great combination. There are so many wonderful places to camp with a new motorhome and ride horses. I can see this relationship has a bright future as you ride off into the sunset.
Happy Trails to you.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV solar searching

2012-01-05T07:20:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I have created a monster. My husband and I bought a nice used motorhome to do some traveling. It's very comfortable with a couple of slide-outs. We bought one short enough to ensure we could still roll into some of our favorite National Forest campgrounds that are often a tight fit. It came with a generator, but I wanted a solar panel. My husband thought they were too expensive and called them "toys". Finally, tiring of hearing me yak about them, he ordered a 123 watt panel. I was a happy camper until he bought the second one, then a third. Then we needed inverters, special batteries, fancier control panel, the list goes on. He has always been this way. Twenty years ago I finally talked him into going fishing with me and now he has hundreds of lures. He enjoys collecting lures more than he enjoys fishing. Now everything is solar. We have solar night lights, solar patio lights, and his latest addition a solar camera battery charger. We never have to plug in, people can plug into us. What concerns me the most is he is now contemplating the purchase of a small wind generator. It drives him nuts that once the sun goes down he's no longer capturing free energy. What can I do?
--Solar Bipolar in Sedona

Dear Sedona:
Let me start with a quote from Albert Einstein, "Only one who devotes himself to a cause, with his whole strength and solar, can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person."
I don't think you have to do anything. It sounds like he has already bought everything on the market. Until they start retailing that new paint full of solar nano particles you should be safe. Let's hope they offer colors other than mellow yellow. Look at the bright side (pun intended), you are truly off the grid. You should leverage your husband's interest and abilities into cash. Farm him out as a solar consultant to other RVer's. The use of solar on RV's is a perfect application. Your husband has put you way ahead of the curve. Just don't let him attach a wind generator to the roof ladder unless you want a vibrating bed that doesn't take quarters to activate. And whatever you do, don't encourage him with any more of your great ideas.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

Greta Garbo Loves to Boondock

2011-12-28T18:13:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I don't mind boondocking. We spend several months a year on the road and camp a majority of the time without hookups. My husband will camp anywhere, but I do not care to camp in remote areas by ourselves. My husband says I am being silly. Recently we camped in Big Bend with a backcountry permit. We found several sites that we could drive our rig without doing any damage. The permit was only ten dollars for two weeks of camping. I admit it was beautiful, no noise or light pollution, and we love natural settings and hiking. However, I felt we were too isolated at the end of a dead-end road. Am I being silly? Should I develop an attitude like my ex-Marine husband and throw caution to the wind? I love the places he finds to legally park, but some of them keep me from feeling comfortable.
--Apprehensive in American Outback

Dear App:
Caution is good, but safety has no guarantees. Many boondocking sites come with the disadvantage of not offering the margin of camping security that you expect from regular campgrounds. Most are not monitored on a regular basis by authorities and you are basically on your own. All campers have to make their own calls on these situations. You should do what makes you comfortable, but don't make yourself paranoid by reading too many newspapers. Rural America is not as dangerous as you might imagine. Many RVer's find safety in numbers and hook up with other campers to share boondocking sites. Quartzsite and BLM lands all over the west find groups circling the wagons together. Some groups form to stake a mining claim for no other reason than camping on it. The sites you mention in Big Bend are just large parking areas off unimproved roads that would accommodate several rigs. It doesn't hurt to "drive softly, but carry a big stick." If you constantly camp alone in primitive areas you should consider some form of protection. I'm not suggesting you mount a .50 caliber on the roof of your rig. Although it might be intimidating, it's way too heavy and will put a dent in your fuel budget. I recommend something more subtle. If you do not like guns, carry some bear spray. Twenty years ago this might have been more of a problem. I find as we move into this new age of, "The Boomers are Coming," there are few boondocking sites that are not already crowded when arriving. In my RV Shrink practice I am dealing more and more with the Greta Garbo syndrome. People are constantly occupying my couch and groaning, "I want to be alone."
Find your comfort zone, compromise with your husband and enjoy the places that make you happy. There are thousands of natural campgrounds that offer peace, quiet and a shade more security than some of the boondock sites. Often the more familiar you become with an isolated site, the more comfortable you are occupying it.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

Squirrelly Neighbors

2011-12-22T06:40:00.001-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My husband found a great deal on a new travel trailer. It was exactly what we wanted. It was from the previous model year and had been parked for over a year on the dealers lot. We took delivery and immediately left for a host job we had in Yellowstone National Park. Our first week as campground hosts kept us very busy. To make things even more hectic, I could not sleep at night. We had squirrels in the walls of our new trailer. At first we thought it was a small problem we could deal with and trapped a couple. Soon I knew we were infested with them. They had a year in the dealers lot to take over this unit and dig in. After contacting the dealer and complaining, I could tell he thought we were overreacting. It was so bad I finally told my husband I was not going to live in a rat infested RV. I insisted we cut our host job short, drive back to Wisconsin, demand a new trailer and start fresh. My husband was not keen on the idea, but finally capitulated to keep peace in the family. We did get a new trailer once the dealer discovered the extent of the damage these furballs had caused. That helped smooth feelings over with my husband who was still a bit upset with me. We drove four thousand miles round trip to solve this little dilemma. Now, however, my husband is always nervous when I point out any little problem with the rig. I am trying to convince him that I am not that paranoid. I just want our home on wheels to be clean, safe and comfortable. Any suggestions on how I should have handled the squirrelly neighbor situation any other way.
--Nuts in New RV

Dear Nuts:
I think you made the right decision. I know it must have been a tough one, being so far away and just beginning your RV adventure. It is always wise to take a few shake down cruises with a new rig. It helps to solve all evident problems before you get on the road and have to find repair services in unfamiliar territory. Gnawty little rodents can be a huge problem and a safety issue. They create havoc by chewing wiring insulation causing electrical nightmares. Like the dealer, you will have to take this into account whenever your rig is in storage. There are many methods. You can use electronic devices, regular traps, tea bags or poison. I prefer to use bucket traps. Five gallon paint buckets filled with non-toxic, RV anti-freeze. Across the top I stretch a wire, string two soup cans duct taped together on the wire, and smear with peanut butter. If I do have visitors they go for the peanut butter and roll into the bucket. This method continues to work during the whole storage period. If you do not deal with this problem you will develop a lot of aggravation, extra work and maybe even marital problems when you pull your rig out of storage and hit the road. As for other problems with other systems, you just have to deal with them. It's not a perfect world. You will always have small problems to solve on your rig as you make it your home. It's part of the adventure. Enjoy the journey.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

Stoned in Quartzsite

2011-12-14T18:44:00.001-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My wife has rocks in the head. No, I am not being derogatory. I mean she has rocks everywhere including those I found in the bathroom this morning under the sink. We are headed for Quartzsite this week and I see more rocks in my future. Then we go to all the rock and gem shows in Arizona. After that we go to Rockhound State Park in New Mexico. After that we go to the Stillwell Ranch outside of Big Bend. I will truly be a rock star by then. It wouldn't be so bad if she made something out of them and sold it. At least that would make up for some of the bad mileage I'm getting. Should I put a weight limit on what she can load into the motorhome or just keep my quarry quarreling attitude to myself. I want to get along but I am between a rock and a hard spot over the safety issue and gas mileage.
--Bedrock in Benson

Dear Ben:
I have attached an old "I Love Lucy" episode to help you through this crisis.
"I Love Lucy Rock Hauling Method"
Sit down with your wife and watch this clip. It will show you how a situation like yours can eventually have a happy ending. Remember, in John Lennon's words, "Love is the Answer."
Depending on how much your wife really collects, safety can be an issue. The important thing is to keep those stones rolling. Otherwise you are going to have a moss problem. Everyone needs a hobby and rockhounding seems to be a very popular one. You may want to encourage your wife to look for really heavy rocks. No, seriously, get her a gold pan. If you can convince her is it quality and not quantity, you won't have to worry about the price of gas. Plus, you can stake a gold claim on BLM land and camp for free all winter while your wife looks for gold. You can turn this into a win, win situation. There are many ways to solve rocky relationships. Leave no stone unturned.
I hope this can take some weight off your shoulders.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

Sunshine on my cheesehead makes me happy

2011-12-08T08:40:00.000-08:00

Dear R.V. Shrink:
We bought a new fifth wheel this fall when I retired, with plans to spend the winter in a warmer part of the country. I think my wife is getting cold feet (no pun intended). We live in Wisconsin. It has been a mild November and early December, with little snow. However, it is colder than a well-diggers lunchbox and I am ready for that warmer clime. My wife keeps dragging her feet. First it was, "We'll leave after Thanksgiving." Then it was, "We'll leave after Christmas." Now she has fallen in love with the month of January's winter wonderland. Her argument is that January and February are cold months even in the Southland. She thinks we should not leave until we are assured of warm temps in March. I am fit to be tied. Please give me some debate maneuvers that will help hoist anchor before spring sets in again. --Frostbitten in Fond Du Lac

Dear Frostbitten:
Okay, let's put on our cheesehead hats and work on this problem. First, your wife is right about January and February being the coldest months in the South during a normal year. The difference is you won't need your snowblower, the days usually climb to high sunny temps and the closer you get to the sun the less your gooseneck's heater is going to kick on.

I will admit I have had my water and septic freeze for a few hours as far south as Rio Grande campground in Big Bend. But by noon I was birding in my shirt sleeves. In Wisconsin you will still be hauling wood to the stove at noon. I think you both need to head south, if that was your original intent, and feel the difference yourself. You can't gauge North American weather by staring at a laptop AccuWeather map. If you don't believe me, compare it against the weather outside your door vs. what is on your computer screen. They will never match.

Often, recently retired RVers have a hard time adjusting to this new found freedom. It is not a good idea to force an agenda or time schedule on your maiden voyage, but you need to discover the reality of this type of travel, and the only way to do that is to get some experience under your belts. You did not give me an indication of your compass reading. You will find the further you go south in Florida and Texas the warmer your average temps are going to be. In the West it is all about elevation. I can only think of about a million beautiful places in the sunbelt that will allow you outside every winter day to hike, fish, chase birds and bike without your woolies making you itch all over. So, if it's not family holiday commitments that are keeping you in Fond Du Lac, and you both agree that RVing is something you want to try, there is no time like the present. Your wife has had many years to discover Wisconsin Januarys. It's time to experience and experiment with new and exciting climates all over the southern tier states.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

Power to the RV People

2011-11-30T17:42:00.000-08:00

Dear R.V. Shrink:
We dry camp or boon-dock all the time. My husband bought a cheap generator from some mail order catalog that makes more noise than a pack of Harley hogs. I suggested we order a solar panel and get rid of the generator. He bought a small 15 watt solar panel and said we would try it. I told him that seemed too small. I talked to a couple that had a larger 80 watt and they said it kept their battery charged if they were very careful with their usage. I hate the noise our generator makes, it annoys other campers and doesn't even seem to charge very efficiently. Should I just buy one and prove it too him or wait for both of us to go deaf listening to this stupid gas guzzling generator?
--Say What in Wasilla

Dear Say What:
I'm hearin' ya. 15 watts is like spitting into the ocean. I wouldn't wait. If you have a internet connection, there are some very informative articles on how to figure your power usage and what size solar panel you would need. If you are just using that noise maker to charge the battery, you can't get much more inefficient. You can work from both sides of the equation. Whittle your power usage and suck enough sunshine to store what you need. I think 80 watts of quiet, free solar power would be a good start. If that doesn't work you can add on. In the meantime, you may want to add a gas light, small Wave catalytic heater and efficient 12 volt bulbs to your existing lights. If you can limit your coach heater fan from coming on with a small catalytic heater you will save a lot of battery power. A gas light will give you heat and light. Your husband will eventually see the light, but it may be dimming if he continues to experiment with that small panel. I don't know what he paid for that generator, but solar costs are dropping all the time. You can buy a nice 80 watt on Amazon for less than five hundred bucks. They are so easy to install even a Shrink can do it.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

Flat Tired and Blind

2011-11-23T17:53:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We tow a Saturn behind our Class C motorhome. I think we should have some type of alarm system or indicator to warn us if a tire goes flat on the Saturn. While driving I can't see or feel the car. It only weighs 2400 lbs. I know my husband can't see it either, but he refuses to look into a system that will give us some warning if a tire goes flat. He says they cost too much and that he would be able to tell if we had a problem. I don't agree and I don't want to find out the hard way. Can you tell me how to pound some sense into him?
Flat Out Nervous in New Orleans

Dear Flat Out:
There are systems that work on tire pressure sensors. A lot of rigs come standard now with backup cameras for visual monitoring. Many people still do not have any way of monitoring their towed vehicle. I agree it is rolling the dice. I can tell you from my wife's experience that your husband will not be able to tell when and if the car has a flat. While I was doing a long hike through the mountains, my wife drove the motorhome ahead a couple hundred miles to meet me. She was crossing 30 miles in Idaho on a well graded gravel road. She was following her sister's van. Near their destination, her sister decided to let my wife take the lead. Once behind our rig she noticed the car looked odd and seemed to be dragging to the right. By the time my wife knew she had a problem, the tire was gone, the aluminum wheel was almost worn away, the strut was bent, and the alignment shot. I can tell you that the cost of all those items would buy you a pretty nice system. When I first started towing a car behind the motorhome, I could hardly tell it was there.
I would tell my daughter, "Go look out the back window and see if we still have a car, I haven't seen it in awhile." Out of sight, out of mind works, but only if you never look.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

Harley RV Husband

2011-11-17T05:53:00.001-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My husband and I recently bought a Class B motorhome van. Our friends all told us it was too small for spending several months a year on the road, but we like small and maneuverable. What I didn't plan is my husband changing his mind about alternative transportation. Now he has decided to haul his motorcycle on a rack. This is where we access storage from the rear doors. He spent a week re-wiring and re-plumbing to gain extra storage space. Our garage looked like an RV assembly line. Yesterday I found his helmet in my already small clothes closet. I told him to take his helmet and stick it up his assembly line. I can't seem to make him listen to my reasoning about leaving the motorcycle home. We discussed the downside of not having a second vehicle while traveling and agreed we would work around it. Now with a very space limited rig we are already fighting over storage turf and we haven't even pulled out of the driveway yet. I am to the point of telling him to take his bike and take a hike. Am I being closed minded? I need some advice fast.
Harley Husband in Hillsboro

Dear Harley:
Now is not the time to mutiny over your bounty. You haven't even set sail yet. You are going to discover a lot more adjustments that have to be debated before this process is over. Yes, it should be a debate. Don't roll over on every issue, but be open minded. You may find that motorcycle a blessing when you need a gallon of milk and don't have to pull up stakes and take your living space to the store with you. Something as simple as going to a ranger walk in a national park or to a movie in town is going to entail moving your living space each time if you do not have an alternative form of transportation. Many people find this not to be a problem, but you need to take a maiden voyage and see if you are one of those people.

Class B RV's are great for those who want to stay small and deal with the inconveniences that accompany them. You are finding that space is already a concern. You will also find that many are designed with electrical systems that constantly require power, small refrigeration space, no gas hot water and the need to turn eating space into sleeping space each evening. You may find some of your fuel savings eaten up with frequent trips to resupply. You will not know your reaction to any of these considerations until you get out and experience a few months on the road.

Many people start small and eventually find the living space that fits them like a glove. That journey is still ahead of you. I am confident that you two will work out all your disagreements and that your true needs will become much clearer after you get a few miles under your belt.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

Going "Postal" while RV traveling

2011-11-09T18:09:00.000-08:00

Dear R.V. Shrink:
My wife and I have been living in our RV for almost two years. We love the lifestyle, adventure, and the fact that we never have to mow the lawn or paint the house. Everything has fallen into place as far as setting up communications, knowing how to find the types of camping facilities we enjoy, managing finances and maintaining our rig.

One problem we didn’t anticipate, that drives my wife nutso, is the inadequate United States Postal Circus. We gave up on trying to work with them on mail forwarding. We have a friend that collects our mail and deposits all of it into a Priority envelope whenever we call and give her a mailing address. We always pick a small rural post office in an area we will be spending some time. Without exaggeration, our Priority traceable package travels more than we do and often does not show up for a couple weeks. I tell my wife we are not on a schedule any longer and we should just plan on the worst case scenario when dealing with the post office. She gets so upset when 2-3 days turns into 2-3 weeks that I’m afraid it is going to cause her health problems. She also runs a small business on the road that relies on the Postal Service. I have put as much as I can online and hope the rest will soon be. Do you have any words of wisdom for her? Anything will help.
--Out of luck and mail in Lubbock

Dear Lubbock:
I am probably not the best person to be dishing out advice on this matter. I have been known to go “Postal” a few times myself over mail service issues. I am picturing your wife looking as wild-eyed as myself, the day 35 bags of my newspaper mailing came up missing several years ago. I called the head of second class postage in the state of Michigan and was told, “We don’t guarantee delivery.” You cannot deal with, or argue with, a monopoly and win. Give it up. Here are the things I suggest your wife spends her energy on other than venting.

1. Put additional effort into moving information from hard copy to digital delivery. 2. If you have lost something valuable, there are two large postal dead mail centers. One is in Georgia, the other is in Minnesota. You can go there and bid on bins of lost mail. You get whatever is in the bin you buy. Maybe you will get lucky and find your own stuff. 3. Use Tyvek envelopes. As much as 10% of mail is damaged by aggressive postal sorting machines. If you do not want your mail to end up in a postal body bag, use strong packaging material. 4. Although more expensive, vote with your dollars. Use a competitor such as FedEx or UPS.

I don’t know what your wife’s on the road business is, but here is an example of one that relies on USPS. Many RVer’s make extra money buying used books and selling them on Amazon. They find the Postal Service’s media mail very slow, but convenient as they can drop books in the mail wherever they travel. Those that are never delivered just have to be considered part of doing business with the USPS and refund those orders. The problem is Amazon has a rating system. If your customer does not receive the book that was ordered and paid for, they do not blame the Postal Service, they blame the seller and issue poor feedback. Mail delivery has become a “lost art,” literally.

Whatever you do, never, and I mean never, let them see you sweat.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Water on the brain

2011-11-02T17:54:00.001-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My husband is a campground plumbing fanatic. Ever since we started full-time RVing, he prides himself on being able to beat any water system that tries to throttle his hooking up. He has six different kinds of water thief connectors, 300 feet of hose on reels, a 50 gallon fresh water tank in the back of our tow truck, and a tackle box full of various brass and copper fittings. Why can’t he just take up photography or something normal. This summer he found the water spigots in Glacier National Park campgrounds to have inside female threads instead of outside male threads. He had nothing that would fit. It is not allowed to connect directly to the spigot, but he just wants to know that he can. We drove a hundred miles until he found a fitting that would connect him to this unique plumbing fixture. It makes me nuts. Should I just ignore this fetish? Is it normal? Should I put my foot down and say, “No more plumbing parts?” Help!
--Driving me plumb crazy in Kalispell

Dear Plumb:
Do not throttle your husband’s creative urge to solve plumbing puzzles. I knew a guy just like that once. He was always climbing under Airstreams and designing ways to improve plumbing systems. He was a spark plug engineer for General Motors, but his true ambition was plumbing. He eventually started a small RV plumbing company called Thedford. I’m not saying your husband will become a porta potty King, but at least you will never be in a campground without a water source. He could have a tackle box full of fishing tackle and be spending a lot more time and money looking for the perfect stream or lake to wet a line. There is nothing abnormal about pursuing plumbing. Some people might think he is a bit of a drip but you should encourage him in any pursuit that seems to make him content. Remember, different strokes for different folks.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

My RV husband has a terrible gas problem

2011-10-27T11:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
Maybe you can shed some light on my husbands gas problem. He is obsessed with buying the cheapest gas available and twice now our motor home has run out of gas because he thinks it’s going to be cheaper around the next bend. He has three or four websites he is always checking for gas price postings and they are never accurate when we reach the supposedly cheapest stations. It ruins our travel time, preoccupies our leisure time, and in the end doesn’t save us any, or little, money. Please help me get his head screwed back on straight so I can relieve his gas symptoms and move us on to more enjoyable adventures.
--Gas Pressure in Peoria

Dear Gas Pressure:
This is a common symptom among RVer’s. The truth of the matter is that the websites your husband is monitoring are not accurate. They are supposedly based on the latest credit card data collected from each station, but there is lag time and even in this day of instant internet data collection this pricing is old and stale. What it will often show your husband is the cheapest station. As gas fluctuates in price the cheapest station is often still the cheapest station. You can make your husband aware that he is not saving money by letting his tanks go empty. Besides the danger and inconvenience of running out of gas he is also at risk of his fuel pump clogging up. This can be an expensive fix as the pumps are most often in the tank. If life were fair we could all buy gasoline futures at the pump. When we were happy with the price we could buy a thousand gallons at that price just like any other commodity. One way to help elevate his gas pressure would be to invest in some energy stocks. At least when gas prices go up so will these investments. Most pay a hefty dividend. If you buy enough oil stock you can buy your husband a ten-gallon, Texan sized, cowboy hat and he can pretend he’s a Getty trust fund baby while he fills his tank. Playing out this fantasy could solve your problem and put you on track for those more enjoyable adventures you are dreaming about.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Panasonic Lumix DMC-TS

RV Travel Dot Calm

2011-10-19T17:37:00.001-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My wife wants to work this fall for Amazon.com in a work camper program she has heard about at their Kentucky distribution plant. We are living full-time in our travel trailer and usually are much further south during the months of November and December. We don’t need the money, but she thinks it would be fun to try it. I’ve already put my 30 years in and have no desire to “have fun” working in a semi-cold section of the country for several weeks. I am trying to be open minded about the whole thing, but I’m picturing myself fishing for pompano in November and my wife is picturing herself fishing for Christmas orders in Kentucky. Please help me make it to the Gulf.
--Trying to be Dot Calm in Indiana

Dear Dot:
The definition of retired is not a narrow definition. It can be whatever you make it. Work Camping jobs are springing up everywhere. “The Boomers are coming.” It used to be campground hosting was the only work camp job. That is all changing. There are a lot of companies with their eyes on the Amazon experiment. You can expect to see more companies offering the same temp jobs to this same demographic in the future. Hopefully at that time one of those companies is within the warm vicinity of pampano fishing. That way you can drop your wife off at work on the way to the surf. As for now you two need to work this out. Working for Amazon is not all fun and games. Your wife will find it to be a very demanding schedule. You should encourage her to google a few recent articles about Amazon plant working conditions so that she has a better understanding of what she is signing on for. If after careful consideration you both agree to let her give it a shot you will find that Amazon will offer you several free camping options and a carrot and stick bonus option to entice your wife to stay the full season. So you could leave Kentucky after Christmas with some extra cash. If your wife finds this adventure is not all it’s cracked up to be, you could be pompano fishing before you know it and she has checked distribution center off her bucket list. My last Amazon order of motor home wheel covers arrived looking like chrome cowboy hats. Have your wife check their stacking procedure for me will ya?
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Camping Scammers

2011-10-13T08:35:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
While traveling north this past spring from Florida, we stopped at a Camping World store in Grand Rapids, MI to buy a few things for the motorhome. While my husband was purchasing a new toilet and plumbing fittings, I signed up to win a brand new truck. While driving just outside Glacier National Park in August, my phone rang. It was a guy telling me I won the truck. I gave the phone to my husband who was given the same impression. As my always suspicious husband drilled the guy with questions, he soon found out we were one of only five people to have a key that might start the truck. If our key didn't start the truck we would be assured of at least two other prizes that ranged from a trip to Disney World, to a flat screen TV. The caller said he was trying to wrap the contest up by the end of August and would like us to come in and try our key as soon as possible. Again, my suspicious husband went online and found out the contest is still ongoing and involves sales people from an RV Park in Michigan trying to sell memberships. I want to call Camping World and ask them if they think so little of their customer base that they will lend us out to dishonest sharks like these. My husband tells me to forget it. He has seen this going on in the RV world for twenty years and says you just have to know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em. I still want to give someone a piece of my mind. Let me know what you think.
--No Truck in Traverse City

Dear No Truck:
It can be upsetting. I have seen campground membership and time share plans take a lot of unsuspecting people's good money over the years. The industry has a real black eye and from my perspective not a well regulated transaction. It wouldn't hurt to call Camping World and let them know your experience. It may control what they allow in the future. I know there are company stores and franchised stores, which might make a difference on what they can peddle to the public. I have had nothing but good service from Camping World stores over the years and would be surprised if they were not as upset as you over this matter. You might also want to contact your state raffle licensing board and report the behavior. I was once told I won a cherry pie at a cake walk. Before they explained to me that there was a tie, I had already eaten the pie. The same thing might work with a truck. If you get involved with any high pressure sales, always say, "I'll be back." Every high pressure salesperson knows that there is no Santa Claus, no Easter Bunny, no Tooth Fairy and no "Be Back."
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

Barking up the wrong RV

2011-10-06T10:49:00.001-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I love dogs. Cats aren't bad either. But lately while camping I find I am having problems dealing with barking dogs. It might be my age. The noise never used to annoy me. Recently I was parked next to a couple who had two little barkers. They were quiet while the couple were in camp, but as soon as they left the dogs would begin to bark and not stop until they returned. Thinking they didn't realize that the dogs barked while they were gone, I mentioned it to them. They jumped right down my throat in defense of their pets and refused to believe that the dogs would bark that much. I just moved on. It is one of the things I like about RV living, I can vote with my wheels. I thought I handled this situation very diplomatically but as it turned out they took my information as an assault. Should I just keep my mouth shut and move on or handle these situations differently?
--Barking up the wrong tree in Tallahassee

Dear Barking:
If you have read enough of my blog, you already know I too have a problem keeping my mouth shut. I know many people feel that the campground host or other authority should be the one to deal with these problems. Oftentimes, that is not an option. Perhaps the manager is not comfortable with a confrontation, there is absentee campground management, or a host of other reasons. (Pun intended). Sometimes it gives the grievance more weight than you feel it needs by involving some official action and you think a friendly conversation could solve the situation more easily. You will find there are different folks with different strokes. You just happened onto combative with a combative attitude to your pet peeve. In most cases, if handled in a polite manner, you would have received an apology. Most times a dog's bark is worse than his owner's bite, but obviously not in your case. Better luck next time. Remember, 99.9% of campground neighbors you deal with will be the total opposite of those you have dealt with in this instance.

--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV travel awareness

2011-09-28T15:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We have had years of trouble-free travel around North America, meeting many wonderful people. However, we recently had a scare that has my wife in a twitter. We were headed for Florida last week on a four lane road when I noticed a car pull up beside me and look over my rig, then drop back behind my toad. It seemed odd, but I didn't mention it to my wife. I kept observing the vehicle in my rear camera, wondering why he didn't pass me. After several miles, my wife noticed a man on the overpass we were approaching. Suddenly she yelled, "He's going to drop something on us." I slowed but it was too late. The guy actually ran to the other side of the overpass and tossed a balloon or bucket of red slime, trying to hit our windshield. He missed and we kept driving. Shortly, the car tailing me zoomed past. After the initial shock wore off, we put two and two together and figured they were partners in crime trying to force us to pull over and possibly rob us. We stopped later in the day and found that the red slime that splattered on the front of the motorhome washed right off. I carry a gun, but if this mixture would have hit my windshield, I would have pulled over immediately and most likely jumped out to see what happened. My gun would have been locked away in the motorhome and I would have been had. I am trying to convince my wife that this is a rare event, that we will be more on guard, but not to let it ruin our travel pleasure. She continues to dwell on what could have happened. Any advice on how to get over this potential dramatic event.
--Shaken but not taken in Tennessee

Dear Shaken:
It happens. Not just while RVing, but anywhere. You can run but you cannot hide. It is wise to stay vigilant while traveling. Rest Areas are one of the most important places to be on your toes, but not the only place. Many of our beautiful National Parks have their own jails. To get into Yellowstone National Park's jail you need a reservation on the 4th of July. Moving from a tow vehicle to an RV is another time to stay alert. I wouldn't be in a hurry to forget this episode. In fact, you should tell your story to as many people as you can. I hope you reported it to state or local police. If you are right, and these people were trying to stop you, they are likely to try again. You will never be prepared for every scenario that some low-life can think up to take advantage of trusting people. Paying attention to what is going on around you while stopped or driving can nip a lot of trouble in the bud. Seeing that car slide in behind you caught your attention. Awareness is your first line of defense. I'm sure in time your wife will reconcile her feelings about this scare, remembering all the wonderful moments, events and people that greatly outweigh this one.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

Crashing at Walmart

2011-09-22T15:14:00.001-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I know many people stay overnight in Walmart parking lots. We are rather new at this RVing and it makes my husband nervous to spend a night in Walmart or any parking area. It's not crime or security issues with him, it's runaway shopping carts. We spent a truckload of money on our new home on wheels and have witnessed two incidents where the wind has blown shopping carts into parked vehicles. He is so afraid that a rolling food rocket is going to slam into our rig he won't consider parking in a large lot with the motorhome, even to shop. It would be a huge savings for us to park in these areas when we are making time and need a safe place to drop anchor for the night. Can you shed some light on food cart phobia. Is it widespread or just something my husband is suffering from?
--Not crashing at Walmart in Wilmington

Dear Not Crashing:
Your husband has every reason to be concerned. Runaway carts are not uncommon. I think most people have noticed this potential problem. I am sure it is covered by your insurance. Do not look to Walmart for damages. They are not responsible. My suggestion is to help your husband understand that scat happens everywhere on the trail. You can run but you cannot hide. Waiting for an accident to happen is not going to make him a happy camper. When you park in a large retail parking lot with your rig or any other vehicle, be vigilant. Scout out the most sensible area to park. If you see loose cannons, secure them in the cart corral. Most stores have people rounding up carts continuously, but they can't be on top of them all. If you start adding up the savings for all your short overnight stays in legal parking space it would most likely pay to repair what damage a cart would cause. I don't have any hard data but I am guessing the odds of a cart collision are equal to actually winning money in a casino. Remember, free casino lot parking is only free if you do not go inside. But look on the bright side, no shopping carts.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV You Haul

2011-09-14T18:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I have a weight problem. My husband says my embroidery machine is too heavy to carry with us in the 5th wheel. I was fine with that until he bought a small air compressor to haul around with us. His argument was that we needed it to check our tire pressure and add air when necessary. The thing weighs more than my embroidery machine. I told him every gas station in America has an air hose. For those that cost a quarter I would gladly pay with the money I make using my embroidery machine. I love the RV lifestyle as much as my husband, but if I can't do what I enjoy, I'll stay home and embroider and he can go blow air up his tires. Can you find us some common ground?
--Tired and under pressure in Peoria

Dear Tired:
You should not have a blowout in your relationship over cargo space. You should both be able to find equipment that fits the bill of lading for an RV. With today's technology I have seen both items in a smaller size and capable of doing what you both want to do. I agree with your argument. Most stations do have available air. Often it is not convenient to reach, but often a long air hose will reach all around even a large rig. I can see having a small compressor would make it convenient to check your tires anywhere. If I were you I would compromise and take both. If, after several months, one gets little use--lose it! I think that is good advise for any items you haul. It is a matter of learning what to carry and what to leave behind. Everything should be an option. With so much storage space available in newer rigs people have a tendency to haul equipment they will never use. It takes some sorting out. Be open minded and you will soon lose more weight than you ever imagined.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV fuel problem

2011-09-08T17:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I have a problem with trust. I trust my wife, I trust my dog, but I can't bring myself to trust gas station attendants that don't trust me first. I know I should be setting an example for them, but it makes me nervous. Let me explain. I pull the motorhome up to a gas pump in small town America. I get out and the first thing I am greeted with is a sign that says, "Prepay before you pump." I don't use credit cards, so I have to go into the cashier and hand he or she a hundred dollar bill. Nine times out of ten I don't get a receipt unless I ask. When I ask they look at me like I'm a pain in the keester' or that I don't trust them, which I don't. But remember, first they think I am going to fill my motorhome with gas and make a run for it. Am I being unreasonable? Should I chill out, or at least act cool about the whole thing? Should I be optimistic that I won't get ripped off? Should I have more faith in my fellow human beings even if they have pierced lips and a tattoo that says, "KILL"on the fingers of the hand that takes my money?
--Kill Bill in Cody

Dear Bill:
If you have a motorhome, you are surely going to kill most or all of that bill if you fill up today. I know it doesn't seem right or good business to not get a receipt when you hand the clerk a C note. Most large chains automatically give you a receipt to bring back for change, if there is any. You have every right to ask for and receive a receipt if you want to hassle with that. Most people would gamble on the fact that they are going to use most of it in the form of gas. That way if you ever do have a problem with retrieving your change, most of the bill went for the fill. I understand you do not use credit, but you might want to consider a debit card. It works the same way, saves you a trip in to meet the clerk and leaves you a track record of where you've been and what you spent. If you continue with the cash dash, do whatever makes you happy. You should not take a guilt trip every time you ask for a receipt before you pump. It is, in fact, the right way to do business and maybe you are teaching management a valuable lesson in customer relations.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

Campground Host Post

2011-08-31T18:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:

We have been traveling for several years and notice so many parks using more and more volunteers. I don't think the state and national park system could function without them anymore. I am having a problem with information breakdown as the corps of volunteers grow. I tell my husband they are dropping their standards with their dropping budgets. Young and old alike are in positions that require a knowledge of the areas we visit, rules and regulations and safety issues. Many do not seem to grasp the skills to fulfill their responsibilities. My husband thinks I am being too critical. We had to walk six extra miles on a recent backpacking trip because a volunteer in the backcountry office failed to mention a road closing. My feet were talking to me so I think I have the right to let my mouth speak to him. I volunteered not to make a scene. I didn't want to embarrass my husband, but I feel silence could get the next backpackers in trouble. Please give me some advice on how to adjust my voice control button.
--Blisters at Bowman Lake

Dear Blisters:
Think of the less informed volunteers as the "Farm Team." You always need to be developing new talent and that is what the park system is doing. Many new National Park Rangers start as volunteers. Everyone starts out "green" as a volunteer at some point. In your life I am sure you have been the "newbie/greenhorn/wet-behind-the-ears/new-kid-on-the-block/first-timer." It's not always pretty but eventually you become a pro. There are exceptions. The Detroit Lions come to mind. In most cases, volunteers in training are fast learners, efficient, responsible and motivated. Let's face it, they are not in it for the money. I applaud all volunteers and appreciate the fact that without them the budget strapped park system would be a shambles. So whenever you get upset with a volunteer, think like a musket loader. I mean, don't go off half-cocked, keep your powder dry, stand straight as a ramrod, don't be a flash in the pan, and remember the volunteer can't learn everything, lock, stock and barrel, the first day.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV Alarmed Couple

2011-08-13T10:04:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I found last week’s session very interesting. We too find generators annoying and always opt for generator free campground loops when available. Our unit has a generator but we find it annoying even when we have to run it. We would never consider running it around other campers who are enjoying a quiet camping outing. My concern is yet another new sound annoyance we have started noticing lately. Car alarms. I think many newer model cars come standard with car alarms. Campers with unfamiliar rentals or new vehicles get into them at all hours of the night and you hear loud honking until they finally figure out what button to push. By that time they have already pushed all my husband’s buttons. He tells them all what he thinks. The problem is, I’m the only one that can hear him. I tell him it solves nothing and upsets me. Should I just let him vent and ignore it or work on this issue until he goes deaf?
Horny in Havre, MT

Dear Horny:
I’m all ears. It is annoying and a growing problem. The ironic thing is, car alarms are so common, we are now programmed to think, “What an idiot,” instead of “Oh, someone is breaking into a car.” It is noise pollution pure and simple. I don’t think your husband is going to go out at dark-thirty in the morning and catch the offender. Besides, this person already feels like a jerk. If it’s a real Yosemite “break-in” he could be eaten by a bear. If he isn’t already deaf I am going to assume he wasn’t at Woodstock, so get him some ear plugs. You could also start taking him to Bob Dylan concerts. I did, and I lost a good share of the hearing I had left. Plus, as a side note, Bob can’t remember how his songs go anymore. Time will heal everything. Just be patient and appreciate the fact that there are actually a few people who have read their owner’s manual.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV sound check

2011-08-11T08:09:00.001-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We were recently camping in Yellowstone in one of our favorite, usually quiet campgrounds. Unfortunately, we ended up next to a lovely couple with a very noisy generator. I don’t think it even had a muffler. During the summer season it is combat camping and moving was not an option. We were lucky to get the spot we had. Our real dilemma was that we liked these people very much and could not bring ourselves to complain about the noise. They seemed to be having a problem keeping their batteries charged. My husband hinted around that we have solar panels but they seemed happy with the old generator in the back of their pickup. Should we have just come right out with our grievance or suffer in silence as we did?
--Double Digit Decibel in Dubois

Dear Double Digit:
First a few thoughts that might help you avoid the problem in the future. Most campgrounds do allow generators but most now offer loops that are generator free. Also generator users should be following the quiet hour rules. Many campgrounds now post hours that generators can be operated. If you have neighbors that are not following these guidelines you have every right to voice your protest to the individual or campground host. When you end up stuck in a situation like you experienced in Yellowstone and you have nice neighbors that are following generator use rules, you might consider a hike or ranger program during the hours they are charging. When forming a relationship with noisy campground neighbors, absence makes the heart grow fonder. This scenario is becoming less of an issue as the newest generation of generators are whisper quiet, solar panels continue to drop in price and more RV manufacturers are beginning to offer panels on new model rigs. A noisy generator does not annoy many boomer campers. They lost their hearing years ago at Woodstock. "Wish you could have been there."
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV on the level

2011-08-04T07:10:00.001-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We had a mini disaster while traveling recently in our older motorhome. My husband is always saying we need automatic levelers. Presently we use plastic levelers we drive up on. We were at a nice city park in Montana for the night and up on levelers on the passenger side only. I was boiling coffee on the stove and told my husband to let me know when he was coming off the leveling blocks so I could hold the coffee pot. Less than a minute later he rolled off without a word. The wooden stove cover fell, knocking the boiling coffee to the new tile floor. As we were busy wiping up hot coffee, we didn’t notice the wooden stove cover on fire. We threw the whole thing out the door and opened all the windows and vents. I blame it on my husband’s CRS (Can’t Remember Stuff), he blames it on levelers. So what’s your opinion, do we need to spend two grand on levelers or a brain transplant?
--Decaffeinated in Denver

Dear Decaffeinated:
I would hold off on the brain transplant. We’ve all been there. I recently talked about a check list, but not everything can be guaranteed with a list. Your husband might have been busy doing other things and listening but not hearing. Many new rigs come with levelers, and they are a great convenience. Adding them can be pricey so everyone has be make their own decision on value. Plastic levelers are less convenient but work very adequately. If this type of communication glitch happens often, you need more than an easy system to level your rig. If it was an isolated incident I would chalk it up (no pun intended) to experience and buy a new stove top cover that latches to the wall. Don’t be too hard on your husband, the next time things go to pot it might be your fault and you won’t want him flipping his lid.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Older than dirt RV, or just old dirt

2011-07-26T09:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We have a perfectly functioning Class C motorhome that we have traveled in for 14 years. Over that time we have babied the engine, outfitted it with solar, new appliances, new upholstery, new flooring, extra batteries and many more conveniences. We know the rig and can fix most things on our own. It fits like a glove. Yet, my husband wants to sell it and get something new because the decals are faded. I’m afraid I may be next as I’m fading a bit myself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with our rig and I am stubbornly refusing to agree to a new rig, a new payment, new brake-in period and new learning curve. Am I being selfish? Please give me some advice.
Old Fashioned in Oklahoma

Dear Old:
There is lots of information I do not have that would make the answer I give you vary. Your finances, how much you use the Class C, how many miles on it and the body condition other than the decals. So let me approach it from this angle. I am going to assume it is in great shape and your point is why spend money on something new just because your husband is bored with what you have and finds it unsightly. First, he may find the newer designs more convenient. Your rig probably has exposed sewer connections and no basement storage for example. Maybe it isn’t just the decals. There will come a point that updating is no longer cost effective. He may be thinking you are at that point. So many amenity choices are also personal choices. If, however it is simply faded decals, I can save you some money. For about $70 you can buy a product called PoliGlow that will make your rig shine like new. It is easier than waxing and when you are finished it will have a showroom shine. You will need to do this every year or so, but it’s very simple. It’s a two part kit. First part entails scrubbing streaks and marks off and then putting several coats of PoliGlow on with a chamois as if you were varnishing. Good luck with your new rig or your new look. I like both end results as long as both of you are happy campers.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

The RV Check List

2011-07-21T04:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We just tore the TV antenna off our rig. My husband blamed me immediately. I read the manual that came with our fifth-wheel and it doesn’t say anywhere, “Wife is supposed to crank TV antenna down before leaving campground.” I could have reminded him that he was the last one to watch TV, but I didn’t. I could have told him it was his job to check the exterior of the rig, but I didn’t. I could have told him we should share the responsibility and choke it up as a learning experience, but I didn’t. You couldn’t print what I did tell him but let’s just say it was loud and long. I know that is not how I should have handled the situation but it sure felt good at the time. What would you suggest?
Winegard Whining in Winnipeg

Dear Winnie:
You were both wrong. He should not have blamed you and you should not have doused him with a verbal flamethrower. Did it solve anything? I like your “could have” about calling it a learning experience. Arguing is such a waste of time and energy. You should also work on avoiding conflict by avoiding little disasters.

What you two need is “The Check List.” I talk about this all the time because it solves so may problems before they ever occur. It is not only important to make a list but to check it religiously before even starting the engine. Lists can be long, short or even compartmentalized. On this list you put important reminders like: Is the antenna down? Is the cat in, or still on his leash? Is the refrigerator locked? Is the tow vehicle hooked up correctly? Are the cupboards secure? Does the engine have plenty of oil? Are the vents down? Have we unhooked the power and water lines? What is the fuel level? Are the bikes secure? Are the tires inflated properly? Have I hugged my spouse today?

These small reminders will keep you in the habit of taking a few minutes before blast off and making sure all systems are GO. You might even consider an abbreviated list for short gas and rest stops.

When you replace the antenna, get the new design that never needs cranking up. The less cranking, will make you both less cranky.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

My RV husband in a fix

2011-07-13T18:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We bought a used motorhome recently and now live in it full-time. We love the lifestyle but it is causing my husband a lot of frustration. We are in the middle of this new learning curve and we find it very exciting. The problem arises when we have questions and get dozens of different answers. We recently had to replace the toilet. At the same time we tore the carpet out of the bathroom, put in a new sub floor and tiled. My husband was told by several RV parts dealers that there was no such thing as a closet flange extension to compensate for the raised floor. He was at wits end, and ready to pull the new floor up, when we walked into a parts store and found several of various lengths. This seems to be the norm as we maneuver through our shake down cruise. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can calm my husband’s nerves until we become more expert at this land yachting?
--Newbies in Nebraska

Dear Newbies:
I understand completely. First let me say, “Never, and I mean never, take NO for an answer.” When you have rig questions, repair questions, travel destination questions, campground questions, and yes, even Shrink questions, always get a second opinion. It can be very frustrating when repair people tell you something you find out later is just not true. Diagnostic fees at RV shops can run as much as $100 and hour. I have been tempted to start an on the road diagnostic business myself. I think I would be as good as many so called experts I have dealt with. I would charge people a hundred bucks to look at their problem and say, “Yep, she’s broken!”
Seriously, you can start researching many questions on Google, talk to other RVer’s, sales and service people, even manufacturer’s tech support. Again, never take the first answer you get. Information is often clouded by what the company is selling, or brands carried. Sometimes a service tech doesn’t want to sound uninformed and will give you a line of BS that will throw your train of thought right off the track. Think of your many small problems as lessons you need to learn on your way to RV utopia. It’s all part of the adventure. Before long you will be giving others tips on how to avoid the land mines you have already disarmed.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV Festivities

2011-07-07T17:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We were camped last summer in Deadwood, South Dakota in a commercial campground. The second day the manager gave us a hospital band ID to wear on our wrist. He said it was going to get very busy and we would need this ID band to leave and enter the campground. He said it was the Sturgis motorcycle rally. We had no idea what to expect. By nightfall the campground was packed to capacity and the partying went on all night long. One woman came over to our site and asked for ice. I thought she was wearing a skimpy halter top but soon discovered she was topless with a tattooed halter top. We left the next morning but my wife thought we deserved a refund. It still bugs her. Should I have demanded my money back or just moved on?
--Harvey in Hog Heaven

Dear Harv:
I think it was worth a night’s fee just to have the story to tell about the woman with the tattoo. You are always going to run into the unexpected while traveling. It is part of the adventure. You will often stumble onto festivals you didn’t know existed. Sturgis is the Mother of all motorcycle rallies. The Black Hills are alive with rally goers and most campgrounds are filled to capacity with people “letting their hair down.” There are so many boomer bikers now (with no hair to let down) so the rally gets bigger each season. I would suggest you go with the flow and move on if you can’t fit in. The campground owners had no idea you weren’t there for the festivities. They probably could have rented your space ten times over. It sounds like they are trying to manage the crowds as best they can with the ID bands. You pay your fees and take your chances. Odds are in your favor that most of the time you are going to get exactly what you are looking for. I’m just curious, how long did it take to figure out it wasn’t a halter top?
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV Banking at Walmart

2011-06-30T14:05:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My husband and I are having financial problems. We have plenty of money, we just can’t agree on how to manage it while traveling nine months of the year. We have one credit union account from our hometown, but every time we use the ATM it costs us $3+ dollars. I want to open an account with a major bank that we can find most anywhere but my husband will not change. We have had our credit union account for thirty years and he is used to it. I’m banking on you to give me some advice that might persuade him to move to another financial institution.
Bonnie in Clyde, OK

Dear Bonnie:
You have the easiest financial problems that exist. Maybe I can help you meet your goals and keep both you and your husband happy. I would suggest you use your credit union debit card for most purchases and Walmart for your ATM. You will find more Walmart stores than you will any major bank. When you check out just get cash back using your debit card and keep a few hundred on hand. There are no fees and it is as simple as hitting a single key at the check out register. If you do a little research you will find a treasure trove of offers from retailers that can save you money, but the Walmart cash back program is the best ATM I can think of. Oh, did I mention free camping and a Red Box?
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV stargazing

2011-06-22T13:45:00.001-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We bought all the hardware for satellite TV, and all the promises a young salesclerk lavished on us on how easy it is to be connected anywhere. I think my husband spends more time aiming our dish than watching TV. He has pointers and compasses like you would find on a NASA rocket but often no reception. Luckily we are on a month to month, no contract basis with the service provider. I want to trash the whole mess and start finding our entertainment some other way. My husband is addicted to Nightly News and does not want to give up the dish. He is afraid he might miss some disaster around the world. I think we can do without blow by blow coverage of the latest disasters. Your opinion would be welcome, as he reads your column every week.
--Receptive to Ideas in Idaho

Dear Receptive:
Traveling in a modern RV means you do not have to give up things you enjoy. As the tech revolution rapidly evolves, things change everyday in equipment and service. Dish services are not foolproof but if you look around the campground you will find many people willing to put up with a little frustration to connect to their favorite channels. You might consider watching the news on a computer. A good strong cell connection is necessary. As companies build out their fourth generation networks over the next few years, that choice is going to gain a lot of momentum. All reasonably priced systems have glitches at this time. You have to decide whether you have the patience for them or not. I am not sure what you mean by, “Start finding our entertainment some other way.” That could be a whole other column. I would say, let your husband enjoy his news. Satellite aiming may turn him into a stargazer - both movie and planetary.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV support team

2011-06-15T19:47:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
Now that we have a perfectly comfortable home on wheels, my husband has decided he wants to walk from Mexico to Canada on the Continental Divide Trail. I am to be his support team, traveling along and camping nearby. He says he will come off the trail every 2 to 10 days as we move north through New Mexico, Colorado, Wyoming and Montana. I want him to check this off his bucket list, but I’m just not comfortable camping in remote areas by myself. He says I will be fine, but he doesn’t have the same fears that I have. How should I handle this so that I can be a good support team spouse and still feel comfortable as I move through some rather remote areas of the Rockies.
--Reluctant Loner in Laramie

Dear Reluctant:
You have come to the right head doctor for this answer. First, you have every right to feel your own fears and your husband should lend an understanding ear to those feelings. He is lucky that you are willing to support him, and not refusing to travel along at all. The way most long distance trail hikers work out the support system is through the postal service. They reach a town stop and have a package waiting for them with food and gear they will need for the next leg. In your case you will be that system. You do not need to wait out in the boondocks. Along the CDT there are beautiful small towns with safe and friendly campgrounds. You can enjoy the town atmosphere, libraries, movies, restaurants and people, while you wait for your husband to arrive.
It will be a great adventure for both of you. My wife and I did the same thing in 1999. We wrote a book together and you can read it online for free (Click Here) or buy it on Amazon. If you are like my wife. She enjoyed my absence so much she had me keep walking all the way to Jasper, Alberta. She just said to me the other day, “There are things about you I love so much that you never do anymore.” I said, “Like what?” She said, “Like being gone!”
You will find that taking a hike can strengthen not only legs, but relationships.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV part time/full time relationships

2011-06-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:

My wife and I retired two years ago and began traveling in a new RV. It was something we had dreamed of for years. We both love history and hiking. This lifestyle is perfect for discovering and enjoying both. The only confusion we have is our relationship has changed. We seem to argue more now than we ever did during our forty years of marriage. It’s insignificant little squabbles, but they seem abnormally frequent. I always thought we agreed on almost everything but I am finding that not to be the case. Do you think it has anything to do with our new lifestyle.

--Confused on the Loose in Louisiana

Dear Confused:

It’s really quite simple. You used to be part-timers and now you are full-timers. I’m not talking about your RV lifestyle, I’m talking about your marriage. During your working life, one or both of you worked. That meant you didn’t spend most of your waking hours together. When you were together you had a lot of catching up to do and no time for insignificant problems. You had to fry all the big fish and move on. Now you are full-timers. Living in a small space together 24/7 with all kinds of time to discover each other all over again. That is not necessarily a bad thing. It takes some work. It takes some understanding. It takes some compromise. After two years you must be making some progress. Many people find they can’t make those adjustments and stop traveling or find ways to pare down the togetherness and cultivate alone time. Separate hobbies like photography, crafts and sports can accomplish this. Volunteer work and part-time jobs can also help. You sound like you have a wonderful relationship so maybe you both need to accept that you are the same people you have always been and stop letting the insignificant differences you are discovering annoy you.

--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV Prayer Chain

2011-06-02T05:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We pull a 31 ft. Airstream and our truck broke down in the Badlands. My husband was out staring at the engine when an old guy showed up in a small diesel pickup. He looked like an old prospector. He asked us what was wrong. My husband told him the engine was knocking. He told us to start the engine. I was so relieved when he sounded like he was a mechanic. When we fired it up he said, “Yup, she’s knockin’.” After that surprise the man offered to tow us back to Wall, South Dakota. We dropped the trailer and an hour later we made it back to a local garage. The mechanic there said we probably had a bent rod. While my husband was talking to the mechanic I discovered the old timer was a traveling Baptist minister. He had us hold hands and said a prayer over our engine. My husband came back and poured what he called, “Mechanic in a Can,” into the crankcase. We started the engine and it purred like a tomcat in a creamery. I believe in the power of prayer, but my husband insists it was the additive he put in. Now he makes a joke of it by saying, “If you believe so much in the power of prayer, why didn’t you ask for a new paint job too?” This has become a real issue with us. I can’t seem to let it go? Any advice?
--Up Against the Wall in South Dakota

Dear Up:
Don’t let this get you down. My best advice would be to follow your heart and pray about it. It’s an amazing story and I don’t think “Mechanic in a Can” works those kind of miracles. The other thing you can learn from this experience is that you can’t always tell a book by its cover. Help comes in many mysterious ways, from those you would least expect to be your savior. Anyone who is on the road any length of time, will have similar experiences and meet some wonderful individuals who are willing to put themselves out just to lend a hand. These are all the stories you never see in the media. I’m sure your husband, at a deeper level, is questioning this experience. Prayer chain or timing chain that is the question.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV campground two-cents worth

2011-05-26T05:43:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My husband and I recently stayed at a national forest campground in Washington that cost $14.00 per night. Since we have the Senior Pass, our fee was $7.00. I only wanted to pay half of that because the trash barrels were overflowing, we could smell the pit toilet from the furthest campsite, there were beer bottles and party trash at every site, and little maintenance had been done in a long while. My husband insisted I pay our full share. I feel like this is rewarding them for doing a lousy job. It happened to be May 21 and my husband told me I didn’t want to chance doing something wrong on the last day. I told him I would rather pay $6.98 and give the campground people my two cents worth when I met them at the big campfire.
--Slow Burn in Bellingham

Dear Slow:
You could be dealing with a Government contracted concessioner who is not honoring the custodial contract, or it could be worse, you could be dealing with the Government. If that campground closes down, or goes up in price 30%, you will know it is Government run. Their new business model is, “Less service, for more money.” They say this will solve our deficit problems. Already Florida, Arizona and California are shutting down parks. California is always way ahead of the curve. They stopped maintenance and cut staff long ago. I don’t know what the Governor was thinking, but I know what he was thinking with. I think you were right in paying your full discounted fee. Try to look at it as an entire system of some of the greatest camping in the world. I think you will admit that you have paid the reduced fee at many campgrounds that were spectacular, clean and well managed in the National Forest System. It is no different from going to a nice, poorly managed hotel that forgot to leave a chocolate on your pillow. The cleaning staff ate it - you know it, and I know it. Move on, you have bigger fish to fry before October 21. Yes, that is the rain check date for the next last day. Keep your nose clean until then, even in campgrounds with odorous outhouses.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV Lack of Communication

2011-05-19T19:51:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I could be so happy on the road if only my husband could get the sports channel. We started traveling about six months a year in our fifth-wheel and we both love the freedom of the road. However, my husband does not want to give up his ESPN. We are trying to solve this dilemma without going broke. We see every other camper with various satellite dishes and have researched the many offers. It is so confusing, my husband has become frustrated and says it hurts just to think about dealing with these providers. He calls and ends up with someone halfway around the world in a cubical with poor English skills, and with his hearing problem cannot figure out what the heck they are saying. Both Dish Network and DirectTV told him he can’t take the dish on the road with him. We know that can’t be true. How should he handle these calls so he can end up with ESPN without having to have ESP to understand them?
--Poor Reception in Reno

Dear Poor:
You have to be very careful when dealing with Corporate America today. TV, cell phone, or any other service. They are all run on the business model of confuse, divide and conquer. You have to hold your nose, read the fine print, swallow hard and understand the scam that comes with dealing with the media and communications gatekeepers.

One method that always works to alleviate the language barrier is to fight fire with fire. When you are talking to a person that is impossible to understand, you must also be impossible to understand. Speak very fast pig Latin in a low stutter. I guarantee you will get passed off to someone who speaks perfect English in under thirty seconds. Before you make any rash decisions, go out and meet some of your TV watching neighbors in the campground. They have made all the mistakes for you and will be more than happy to tell you what hoops not to jump through. The RV grapevine is a wonderful place to pick the fruit of knowledge. Your husband will get his ESPN. It will take a little effort, but the most important thing is, “Never let them see you sweat.”
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV Normal or RV Nuts

2011-05-11T15:43:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I can’t believe I am saying this, but I’m bored out of my gourd. I have been looking forward to traveling full-time in our RV for a dozen years. Now that I have retired, my wife and I have been on the road for just less than a year and I am a bit disillusioned. We both have many interests, love to travel, get along fine in a confined space, enjoy life and the many friendly people we meet. So, what’s wrong with me? Why do I feel I’m missing something? I’m always thinking I should be doing more. If you could get my head screwed on straight I would be forever grateful.
Lost in Paradise, MI

Dear Lost:
As Bob Dylan said, “Don’t think twice, it’s alright.” Many people go through an adjustment period just as you have described. Going from a structured lifestyle to “free as a breeze” can sometimes knock the wind out of you. You need to give it some time and find your comfort zone. These exact conditions have created a new job description for thousands of people. Both volunteer and paid positions in many parks around the country are now filled by people like yourself that can’t seem to stop doing something that feels like work. Companies like Amazon have started “workamper” programs. They need seasonal help in their distribution centers and they fill positions with RVer’s who want a work fix and some extra money. There are positions like this all over the country with various industries.

The National Park Service could not operate today without the many volunteers who join the ranks in return for free camping in some of the most incredible places on the planet. I just had a guy on the couch recently who bought a metal detector and went looking for gold. He thought that was going to cure his need to define his existence. He was back a month later. He traded in his metal detector for a digital camera to shoot wildlife. Last time I saw him he was happy as a lark, migrating north to Alaska. The point is, keep searching for what makes you a happy camper. You have a lot going for you already, you just need to fine tune your compass setting.

Always remember, if you don’t think you’re normal, you’re nuts!

--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV Buying Dilemma

2011-05-06T04:30:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My wife and I are on the verge of becoming RV owners. The biggest roadblock turns out we cannot agree on which type of RV to buy. I want a 5th wheel and she wants a motorhome. I tell her we get a lot more living space in a 5th wheel for half the money. She wants to be able to get up and move around while I drive. How do others work this out and agree on a rig that makes everyone happy? Please let me hear from you soon as I have a tight wad of money burning a whole in my pants pocket.
--Anxious in Austin

Dear Tight Wad:
Keep it in your pants until you have sorted out all the options. It’s a buyer’s market and you can find a great deal on whatever you decide. There are many ways to look at how a rig will serve you and what is important to you and your wife. Size matters. Some folks like a small living space that is easy to drive and park, and others want the Queen Mary on wheels. You should consider fuel. Not mpg on the rig only, but total travel mpg. Example: Your 5th wheel might cost more in fuel over a long period of travel compared to a motorhome pulling a small high mileage tow vehicle. Most people put on many more miles sightseeing than when actually pulling a rig.

Be sure to ballpark total trip mileage if a fuel budget is a concern. Another factor would be gas or diesel. Manufacturers are beginning to produce shorter diesel pusher motorhomes (Ex: Allegro Breeze) and class C Sprinter body rigs (Ex: Winnebago View). A diesel truck is going to cost you more at point of purchase, but save you fuel costs over the life of the vehicle. If everyone who joined the RV family could try before they buy, I guarantee most would make a different choice than what they end up with. I would suggest you and your wife visit a few local parks and talk to people with various rigs. You will find most RVers approachable and more than willing to share their thoughts and considerations on buying an RV. You will also find a wide variety of camping options from pop-ups to slide-outs.

Another important factor often overlooked by first time buyers is an efficient floor plan. When buying a rig, looks are only skin deep. Make every square foot of living space count. Let’s not forget the ever popular “Toy Haulers.” Yes, RVs in America need a garage. Some people with a lot of toys find this a must. There is comfort in knowing your Harley Hog is sleeping right next to you in an adjacent room. Before you know it you and your wife will be on the same page -- totally confused. The point is, there is no perfect rig. You need to find the most comfortable, affordable options that make the two of you the most happy before you unroll that wad.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

R.V. Shrink Qualifications

2011-04-28T08:03:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I want to ask you a question, but I feel I should know if you are a qualified RV shrink before I trust your advice. I have read many of your columns and it seems to contain good common sense. Lately, I have seen comments from readers accusing you of being a quack. That makes me a little nervous. If you could give me a little background information to assure me, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you in advance.
Doubting Thomas, Tacoma, WA

Dear Thomas:
I graduated from USMC at the top of my class. It is also known as the “School of Hard Knocks.” I received a tremendous amount of on-the-job training. It is a very specialized program that is literally drilled into you. I could not have graduated without the skills I would need to go out into the field and help others.

As for my RV background, it started late in my life. It wasn’t until I was six that my parents and grandparents bought an Airstream travel trailer. When I was seven I found a guy under the back-end of our trailer, lying on his back, studying our septic system. My dad asked him what he was doing. He said, “I think I can make a better dump valve than this.” We were in a Michigan State park. The guy’s name was Frank Sargent. He was an engineer with AC Spark Plug. He later started a small company called Thedford. He was from Thedford County Michigan. (Just a little history lesson.)

Also Wally Byam taught my brother how to open a locked trailer door without a key. A wrecked trailer came into the factory one day and it was locked. Wally gave the knob a rabbit punch from underneath and it opened right up. My brother picked right up on that. In fact, he knocked several knobs off our trailer before my dad broke him of the habit. As a teenager I worked all through high school for the largest Airstream dealer in the country, Warner Trailer Sales in Pontiac, MI. Many of our customers were GM engineers developing Wide Track Pontiacs and other gear that would advance the RV industry. I used to polish Ed Bowen’s Airstream once a year. You might recognize that name if you have a Atwood Bowen water heater. He and his son also developed Fort Wilderness for Disney. (Another history lesson.)

One of the most important lessons I learned from hanging around the trailer sales was this: Don’t wait until your 65 to retire.

I started right away. I bought the 1964 GMC Suburban that we used to haul trailers up from the Jackson Center, Ohio factory. My dad and I made it into a camper. I didn’t even wait for my high school graduation ceremony. I lit out for a summer of camping and backpacking all the way to the West coast and home through Canada. That didn’t quite cure me. I got married when I was 24 and told my wife we should travel for a year. We bought an Avion and didn’t come back for a decade. Since that time we have had an Airstream and now a motor home. I have seen many changes in the RV industry, both from a camping and equipment viewpoint. I also spent 22 years publishing “The Dick E. Bird News,” mostly baloney, with a few facts. Included was a “Dear Dick E. Bird” column. They used to call me a quack then too.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV campground critiquing

2011-04-08T08:54:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My wife and I love the RV lifestyle. We hope to visit every National Park in the country and all the other interesting points along the way. Although we stay in many wonderful state and national park campgrounds, my wife has developed an annoying hobby of critiquing each site we occupy. She can always find fault with a site no matter how perfect I think it might be. Recently, she could hear the hand drier sound from a nearby restroom. She said it sounded like a pressure washer outside the motorhome every time someone dried their hands. She grades them by size, how close the neighbors are, what kind of view they have, shade, sun, road noise, management attitude, cleanliness, price, the list goes on. It drives me nuts. There is no such thing as perfect. I tell her you have to take the good with the bad and ugly. Can you help me with her attitude adjustment.
--Judgement Day in Daytona

Dear Judge:
Before you cure your wife of her little idiosyncrasy, could you send me her list. I know several people that would love to have it. I think your wife is just more open than the rest of us in this department. We are all looking for the perfect site. I know many people who have learned to work the new reservation system to their advantage. They continually update their campground directories with personal information of what they consider the best site locations in each park they visit. This enables them to reserve that site well in advance if they know they are going to travel that way again. Most people keep this information pretty close to the vest. As competition heats up for campsites around the country, knowledge is King. The same goes for finding and recording great little county, city and local parks that are often overlooked when passing through an area. You can find a lot of information online at sites like freecampgrounds.com, but you have to do more homework to really find the gems. It’s called experience. As long as your wife isn’t carping about every site you park in, I would encourage her critiquing. If you wanted to share that info online or around the campfire, you will find many people interested and eager to hear your input.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Peace, Love and RV Tranquility

2011-04-07T06:31:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I’m in my late 50‘s and met a wonderful old hippie who has great social security. We have so much in common and have decided we’d like to be traveling companions. The problem is she is a vegetarian minimalist and I am a meat and potatoes abstract. She wants to buy a small trailer that looks like a fiberglass egg. I want an old 35 ft. school bus. Can you explain to her that people do not live full-time in such a small space. I have tried to explain to her that we need the kind of room that a big bus offers. She insists that it is doable and I cannot reason with her. Please send help.
--About to be Crammed in Camden

Dear Crammed:
I am a bit suspect of your motives. Are you hooking up with this woman for companionship or a social security check and Golden Age campground passport? You haven’t enlightened me on what you have in common but it is obviously not camping style. There are several small trailer brands that fit the fiberglass egg description. One of the more popular is the Casita. It is small and practical and people do full-time RV in them. They make travel fuel efficient, have very functional floor plans and utilize every square inch of space to the maximum. An old school bus on the other hand would be far from fuel efficient and most likely more expensive to turn into a comfortable RV. I would have to agree with your companion between the two choices you have offered. It will be a close relationship, and I am talking quarters not compassion. Much of the storage available when hauling a trailer this size will be in the tow vehicle. You might want to pack light in the beginning so that you will have less to carry if she ends up dropping you off along the highway. You must face the fact that this idea will always be in the back of her head. Think about it. Without you she doubles the size of her trailer living space and most likely has twice as much money.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Campground Quiet Time "NOT"

2011-03-28T04:20:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We have been RVing for a long time but recently we had an event that was a new experience for us. I thought we had seen it all, but I was wrong. We were in Silver River State Park in Florida and about ten o’clock at night a group showed up to claim the site next to us. They were camping in a horse trailer with a loud diesel truck as a tow vehicle. Without exaggeration it took them over an hour to back it into a wide, straight site, with little to hit except bushes. For awhile I thought it must be the Candid Camera crew trying to get a stir out of us. It was all I could do to keep my husband from going out and parking it for them. They were yelling, “Whoa, stop, hold it, go forward, back to the left, you’re crooked” and before they were done a few other choice words. I thought it was humorous after awhile but my husband could hardly stand it. I told him it was all part of the camping experience and that on occasion we would have to deal with stupid people who are clueless when it comes to common sense and quiet manners. He thinks he needs to give classes to those who haven’t figured it out on their own yet. I think that can be dangerous in this day and age. Can you throw in your two cents.
--Coiled Spring in Silver Springs

Dear Coiled:
You have to think of those occasions as experiences. You now have a great story to tell around the campfire when you are with fellow campers. Trust me, you have yet to see it all. If you let every inconsiderate camper annoy you to the point of distraction you will take years off your camping life. Campground life is not a utopian existence, but in my opinion it is close. You will experience a good, even wonderful outcome 95% of the time. You can improve those odds as you travel more and learn which camping areas offer less chance of having a close neighbor. Just be thankful you don’t own real estate next to people like the ones you experienced at Silver River. You can always move to another campsite when things become unmanageable. Some folks have no clue how to back up a rig, but a quiet campground in the dark is no time to learn. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt, you never know what they might have been through before they made it to your quiet little oasis that night. Patience is a virtue.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV Mother-in-Law Apartment

2011-03-18T11:19:00.001-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We have had a large motorhome for many years. I always thought that after I retired, my wife and I would travel several months during the year. Now that I have retired and have all my ducks in a row, my wife refuses to go because her 83 year old mother would be left alone. My mother-in-law is healthy and active but my wife is afraid she would feel abandoned if we were gone that long. Can you give me some suggestions on how to convince my wife we need to have a life too? I love my mother-in-law but I don’t want to miss traveling in our golden years because she might need us occasionally. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Mommy-in-Law’s Boy in Bowling Green

Dear Mommy’s Boy:
If you really love your mother-in-law, take her along. There is a large percentage of boomers who have parents to care for. I think that is an honorable responsibility in most cases. If you have a large motorhome and everyone gets along, why not travel with mom if she is willing. It’s like a mother-in-law apartment on wheels. I have seen this work out wonderfully in many traveling relationships. It sometimes takes awhile to work out all the scheduling bugs between a couple and a parent all living in a small space, but it is very feasible. With cell phones, email and even Skype, on today’s portable computers, it is easy to stay in touch with loved ones while traveling. Those devices do not replace spending quality time with an aging parent. Another plus could be having a live in referee. I know one couple, both with Type A personalities, that seem to argue all the time. Once her mother joined them on the road it mellowed them both out, added a third voice to the conversation, and they often used her for the tie breaking vote involving important decisions. This third wheel relationship is not going to work for everyone. Don’t make any rash moves until you consider all the negatives that could positively drive you to drink. Good Luck
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV Mobile Connection Conflicts

2011-03-11T09:03:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My wife and I are finding we rely more and more on our computer internet connection while traveling. We use it for directions, campground reservations, fuel prices, weather forecasting, hiking info, banking, emailing and the list goes on. The problem recently is we both want to be on at the same time. She says I look over her shoulder like a hawk waiting to snag a field mouse. I think we should have set hours that each of us claim as our time to surf the net. She says that is too restrictive. What would you suggest? I’m tired of feeling guilty about using this great resource when she also wants to be on line. Thanks in Advance.
--Webel Rouser in Washington State

Dear Webel:
How much is it worth for you to solve your problem? All you need is a wireless router to plug your Air Card into and you and your wife can both be on at the same time if you have two devices that will access the internet. I get many questions about computer sharing so let me give you some examples of what others do to solve the problem. If you only have one laptop you will need a second device. You might consider a smaller notebook, used laptop, IPAD, IPOD, IPHONE or any number of choices available. If you have a cell phone service provider, they will be offering a data package. With Verizon, for example, you pay about $60/mo. for 5G of data. They also offer a WiFi device for sharing the connection. If you already have an air card you can buy a wireless router that the card plugs into from companies like Cradlepoint. Remember, when you are both on at the same time you will be eating up data at twice the rate. I don’t want you to solve one argument just to create another over your next cellular bill. Another frustration RVer’s experience is weak connections. You can solve some of that with a product like Wilson Electronic signal booster kits. They do help. All this technology costs money, but it will pay for itself quickly if you find cheaper camping, fuel and better directions. It’s all part of fine tuning your RV travel lifestyle. Many changes are just over the horizon and a computer and internet connection are becoming more important every year. So stop fighting over the computer and work together at beefing up your online capabilities.
The only problem with all this easy access connectivity is your relatives always know where to find you.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV Road Rage

2011-03-04T07:01:00.001-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I have an ongoing problem with road rage. He sits right next to me in the motorhome and swears a blue streak at the outside world as we drive down the road. If we are in rural areas he seems like a perfectly normal, compassionate human being. When we get into heavy traffic congestion, construction zones or have to turn around because of a missed turn, he goes nutso! I think he needs a course in anger management, but he tells me he is working on a home remedy to “just say no” to spells of frustration and the rage that follows. Can you help us? Is this a normal RV symptom? I see rigs much larger than our Class “C” with a “toad.” I can’t hear into the cockpit of those rigs. Maybe everyone is raging on down the road. Let me know what you think and what I should do to combat my husband’s road hostilities.
--Blue Streak in Biloxi

Dear B S:
I think this is more common than many people like to admit. You don’t hear this often in campground conversation, but you can bet it is more common than people let you believe. Many drivers are capable but not comfortable towing a large rig. I know a retired tour bus driver that spent his career driving 40 ft. Tour buses into New York City and Boston but couldn’t get used to pulling a 30 ft. Fifth wheel. I met another woman who couldn’t stand to listen to her husband swear and talk to other drivers that irritated him. She bought him a sound device that made various weapon sounds. He would use his machine gun or rocket launcher sounds to vent his frustrations. It is no different from trying to kick a smoking habit. You have to want to quit and work hard at keeping your wits about you. Another thought would be to have your husband pull off to the side of the road immediately and do some deep breathing, yoga relaxation poses and make various mediative sounds to connect his RV spirit to the primordial OM sounds resonating throughout the universe. Relaxing and building mental capacity for patience is the key. Rage can ruin a trip, cause unhealthy stress, become a safety issue and ruin a traveling relationship. You may want to do some of the driving when you see your husband going off the deep end. That will be his signal that he is going too far. It may help him put his actions into perspective and mellow him out a bit.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV Shakedown Cruise

2011-02-26T10:41:00.001-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My wife gets irritated with me every time we start out on a trip. We recently headed south with our Class “C” motorhome and the morning we left it was below zero. Everything was frozen. I lost my two front hub caps somewhere along the highway the first morning. My starting battery was being ornery. When we hit warm weather and I could add water, the hot water heater wouldn’t kick on. After an hour I found the problem to be the reset button. Now I am sitting on the Florida surf and my air conditioning, that I just spent $500 dollars repairing, isn’t working. It seems like every time we leave there are several problems to solve. I make sure all systems are go before I store the rig, but it never fails to challenge me the first few days on the road. My wife thinks it’s just me. She says, “It’s Murphy’s Law, and Murphy is shadowing you all the time.” Don’t other people have these same problems? Is it me? Am I just not cut out for the RV lifestyle? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
--Murph the Surf in Sarasota

Dear Murph:
Don’t sweat it buddy. The first few days out with your rig is called the “Shakedown Cruise.” Everybody has your same problems. Often a rig that sits, develops more problems than one that is in constant operation. You should think of your problems as educational experience. Remember, “Adversity builds character.” Every time you work through a problem, it becomes one more notch on your maintenance gun. Next time you will know exactly what is wrong or be able to help someone else figure it out. My guess is that you have snap on wheel covers. Don’t replace them. You can buy bolt on covers for less money and not have to worry about losing them every time some tire jockey works on your rig and doesn’t replace them properly. Add valve extensions at the same time if you haven’t already. Checking tire pressure often will save you money in the long run. I am going to guess that when you left home you were doing big miles every day trying to reach warmer weather. Long days of driving can be stressful, especially when things are not all functioning properly. The right mental attitude is everything. Begin a trip realizing that you are going to have some mechanical challenges. It’s all part of the adventure.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Loading the RV in Winter

2011-02-19T16:31:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I’m getting the cold shoulder from my wife. She doesn’t like the winter weather we have here in Minnesota and always wants to pack the motorhome and head south in November. I’m an avid ice fisherman and I can’t do that in Arizona, so I prefer to leave around the middle of February and enjoy the spring desert. The big problem always arises when we start to load our RV in February. She refuses to help. She told me this morning while I was taking a load out to the motorhome, “If we left in November we wouldn’t have five feet of snow to deal with.” It didn’t help that we were having another blizzard. I know she still loves me. She tied a rope around my waist. That way, if I got lost in the blizzard, it would be easier for her to find me--in the spring. Do you think I’m inconsiderate Doc? Should I leave for Arizona in November and just read about ice fishing in Outdoor Life? I thought leaving in February was a happy medium, but obviously my wife thinks different. Please help me handle this difficult situation.
--Ice Hole in Bemidji

Dear Ice Hole:
I wouldn’t call late February a happy medium. That’s almost spring in Minnesota. Most snowbirds are thinking about heading home by then. In Quartzsite they have started rolling up the sidewalks. It may not help your loading task, but you could get your fishing in earlier than that and head out the middle of January. That would be more of a compromise. If the weather keeps turning the way it’s been these past couple of years, you should be able to ice fish in Arizona soon. Until then I would leave a bit earlier and have the motorhome pre-loaded as much as possible. Look for sales and outfit the motorhome with items that stay in the rig. That way, when you get ready to pull anchor, you throw in some last minute items and you’re “back on the road again.” Think like a firefighter. Another option, if financially feasible, would be to leave in November and fly home for the holidays and fit in some ice fishing at that time. You and your wife need to work out a plan that meets both your needs. I think late February puts you on thin ice.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV Stale Mate

2011-02-12T13:25:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We sold our house six years ago, bought a Class A motorhome and hit the road. We have had a wonderful journey. We have been all over North America. Having that experience under our belt I think we are a bit spoiled. Things seem to be changing. It is harder to get into campgrounds, the price is skyrocketing on gas and camping. The government keeps trying to take away the few camping benefits we have and it just doesn’t seem as enjoyable as I originally remember it. I want to buy some property in the Southwest and spend the winters in one spot and my husband wants to keep moving all the time. My plan would still give us all summer to head for cooler climes and even spring and fall for places we love in the southern tier states. This has been an ongoing debate for over a year now and we are still moving every 7 to 10 days. Can you shed some light on how I should approach this dilemma?
--Stale Mate in Big Bend

Dear Stale:
It happens. Life is like that. Remember when you were a kid and everything was a new adventure? Living life takes the polish off many new and exciting experiences. That’s a good thing. You need to spice up your life again. Shake things up. If you have done all the things you dreamed of in North America, why not park the rig next winter and rent one in Australia or New Zealand. North America has not cornered the RV market. You might want to try RVing Europe in the summer.

I think buying a piece of dirt in a warm climate is a great idea and a good investment. Many people find a little piece of paradise, build the camping site they always dreamed of and even a storage building for storing the RV while they are off on other adventures. You can also add a few sites for friends. I don’t have to tell you that you make wonderful friends while roaming. It’s great to have a place you can all gather on occasion. So I don’t see a problem here unless your husband won’t bend at all. I think you can both have what you want, build some equity in a piece of real estate and see more of this glorious planet we live on. If foreign travel is not your thing, I think you are offering your spouse a workable option. He gets to travel a majority of the year and you get your nesting time in one spot during the winter. Life is a compromise. I think if you two have survived in a motorhome for six years you have the right stuff. I am confident you will make the needed adjustments to continue your wonderful journey.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Ruth the RV Ranger

2011-02-04T08:00:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My wife Ruth and I are both retired and started living half the year in our travel trailer in the warmer climates of the U.S. My wife has always been very active and loves our travels, but she found herself bored after a couple of years of sight-seeing. We are not commercial park types. We like natural settings in the varied parklands of America. Ruth started volunteering during the winter and now wants to start a new career with the Interior Department. She found a backcountry ranger position and wants to pursue it this summer. I am arguing against it. We still have a home to maintain, we have plenty of income and now I see myself spending my summers waiting for her to get off work. She volleys back that we will be living in a National Park. Am I wrong in not wanting to get tied down to one location for several months a year while Ruth pursues her new occupation and I stay home alone?
--Ranger Ruth’s Spouse in Ruidoso

Dear Lone Ranger:
Let me begin with the fact that you are not the Lone Ranger. Many people who retire and begin a traveling lifestyle as you did, find a new passion along the way. Many times that takes the form of a job. It is often not a financial necessity. Your question does not surprise me. The National Park System, and now many state and local parks, cannot survive without the ever growing army of volunteers. These volunteer jobs often network into full-time paying positions. The flexibility of retired and semiretired RVer’s is a perfect match for the park service. It sounds like you two have different ideas on how to divide your time between home and travel, work and play. This is something you will have to work out in your own personal relationship. After a good healthy debate, one of you must yield to the other’s wishes. I would suggest you give it a shot for a year. If you enjoy the natural areas, perhaps you will find plenty to do once you settle into a given park and have ample time to explore it. Your wife may find a big difference between a flexible volunteer job and a time-consuming, often stressful, full-time ranger position. If you don’t let her give it a try she will always wonder. Life is an adventure. You may discover this new arrangement suits you and expands your retirement horizon. You might compromise with agreeing to try it for a season or two and then reevaluating the decision. Don’t be ruthless or you’ll be Ruth-less.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Positive Attitude on Negative RV Rodent Problem

2011-01-27T18:41:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My wife and I have a 30 ft. motorhome worth over a hundred grand. We are not using it this winter and I have it stored in the yard in a canvas portable garage. I have a problem with rodents moving in and spending the winter exploring and chewing wire coatings. I want to bait heavily with Decon but my wife is totally against it. She has put mint tea leaves around and some questionable high frequency sound machine that is supposed to drive them away. She feels that the mice will be eaten by our resident raptors and the poison will be transmitted to them. I still find signs of mice and want to bait for them. This has caused several heated arguments. Can you bring some common sense to this issue before I need a full time electrician to rewire my rig.
--Positively Negative in New Hampshire

Dear + -
I think I can make you both happy campers. This is a common problem and can become expensive and frustrating very quickly next time you go to use your rig and find a mouse nest in your converter or on your engine block. Rodents are attracted to the coating on the many miles of wire that travel through a rig, creating electrical shorts. If that is not enough reason, they just plain like to chew stuff. What you need to do is stop arguing and put that energy into a quick and easy recycling craft project. Get a couple 5 gallon plastic buckets, a few recycled soup cans and a length of wire. Punch a hole in the bottom center of the cans. Duct tape two together at the opened end. String the wire through the holes and twist it off on both sides of the bucket top. Fill the bucket with RV antifreeze. Spread some peanut butter on the soup cans and strategically place your new mouse trap in and/or around your rig. You can place a stick up to the bucket to make it easy for any rodents that desire a little peanut butter. They will step out on the cans which will quickly spin them off into the water/antifreeze solution and quickly drown. This is much more humane than poison, much quicker and continues to work all season. Your wife can still continue with her system. If it does work there will be no casualties. If it doesn’t you have a guaranteed backup line of defense.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Needy RV Neighbors

2011-01-20T18:06:00.001-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We have been full-time RVing for about seven years. We have met many wonderful people. However, occasionally we meet a stalker. It is usually a single person, perhaps lonely. The latest example happened in the Everglades National Park at Flamingo Campground. I called him “Ears.” My husband could not step foot out of our motorhome before this fellow camper was Johnny on the spot. He had to be sitting at his trailer window watching for my husband to exit. It was almost funny if not so annoying. My husband was very patient and spent time letting this guy shadow him and talk his ear off, but finally we moved to another campground ahead of schedule because it became too annoying. Should we have stayed and explained to this person that we needed less contact? It was very awkward. We kept looking in the rearview mirror as we headed north to see if we were being tailed.
--An Earful in Florida

Dear Earful:
The answer would depend on how flexible you are. I applaud your husband’s patience. Some people are lonely and need a listening post. However, there must be some limitations. If the person is rude, irritating, nosey or inconsiderate in some way, I would have no problem setting them straight. First with some subtle hints, and if that didn’t work, being more direct. Sometimes you do not have the convenience of moving. Perhaps you have paid in advance for a long term space. Each instance would be a judgement call on the annoying scale of one to ten. I think you will agree in your seven years of living the RV lifestyle, the majority of the people you connect with are a joy not a hassle. A huge part of this lifestyle is meeting interesting people from all walks of life. That is not to say that you have to spark with every camping neighbor you meet. This is no different that any other relationship problem you encounter in life. Make good judgements and watch your rearview mirror.

--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Old story for young in RV parks

2011-01-15T04:34:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We are not your average couple. We are in our late 20’s and traveling full-time. We are not rich. We are working our way around the country. We live in a vintage 28 ft. Avion. We didn’t want to wait until retirement to do this. We have no children yet and decided to travel for a year. Five years later we are still at it. Our problem is age bias. We find, especially in the popular winter destinations, many of the parks are 55 and older parks. They don’t come right out and say it, but we can never seem to find a spot in a park near where we find a job because we are too young. Once we talk a park into letting us stay, they love us. Last winter my husband, who is quite mechanically inclined, ended up fixing dozen of problems people had with their rigs. We go to all the potlucks and pitch in when we are not working. We are quiet and tidy. How can we convince park managers of this without flashing an AARP card?
--The Young and the Restless in Apache Jct.

Dear Restless:
You are not the problem, but it sounds like you are the solution. You are unfortunately being categorized into a slot you obviously do not belong. In defense of the park management, they are trying to create a harmonious group of winter residents that all fit a specific slot. I am sure you understand that a majority of people your age might not be on the same schedule as those retired. Park management can have problems with anyone who drives through the gate, but you come with a big question mark that screams the possibility of loud music, parties, work schedules and various interests that might put you out of step with the rest of the group. I think you seem to be representing yourself as capable and flexible enough to fit in. I think you should challenge the situation head on. Answer all the questions the park management is not asking you when you first make your pitch. Put their mind at rest. Have an agreement up front as to behaviors expected. If possible give references of parks you have already spent winters in. Then write and tell me where you are staying. I have a few cockpit problems with my rig I would like your husband to fix.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Full-Timing in an RV with cats

2011-01-07T14:18:00.001-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We are thinking about buying a large Class A motorhome. My husband and I want to travel full-time for a few years. We have been planning this for some time. We read a lot of RV magazines and blogs and I see that many full-timers have pets. My husband doesn’t think that is a good idea. We have two cats and they are my babies. I don’t plan to travel without them and he doesn’t plan to travel with them. We are at a roadblock before we even get on the road. Can you offer any constructive advice to convince him that I am right? They are indoor cats and would never have to leave the motorhome. The units we have looked at so far have huge storage bays that are accessible from inside the coach. One would be perfect for food litter and bedding. Please help me.
Catastrophe in Columbus

Dear Columbus:
There is no sense in having a cat fight before you even take the brake off. Traveling pets are as common as a cold. I would estimate that at least 50 percent of the people I meet on the road have a pet traveling with them. This rig is going to be your “home” on the road, and there is no place like home for a cat or dog that gives you company. I can vouch for the no hassle addition of having two cats travel with you. My wife and I have done it for years. One likes to help navigate from the front window and the other makes a beeline for the storage bay (cat cave) if I so much as look at the driver’s seat. I have to admit that they will escape on occasion. We have always found them and persuaded them to rejoin us. Actually, you will meet a lot of wonderful people while looking for a missing cat in a campground. I would suggest you have your husband read some of the articles you have found pertaining to traveling cats. It is truly not like trying to give a cat a bath. You will find them to have an adventuresome spirit. You don’t have to walk them at dark-thirty, they bury their own land mines and you can leave them “home alone” for a couple days. They are very responsible and know how to take care of themselves. All cats, big and small, sleep on average, eighteen hours a day. They don’t bark, and best of all you can take them into any park because you don’t even have to declare them.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV parking at Walmart

2010-12-31T16:31:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We have been using Walmart parking lots for overnight stays while traveling between destinations. We think this is a wonderful opportunity offered by Walmart. We call them our “Pit Stops.” We do our shopping, laundry nearby and rent a movie from Red Box. They always have an out-of-the-way area that is not too noisy or bright. Several times we have noticed other campers not just taking advantage of a good thing, but potentially ruining it for the rest of us. We have seen people with tables and chairs out under their awning, small fenced in dog pens erected, large generators in the parking lot next to the rig running loud and smoky, tents and loud arguments over parking spaces. It takes every tactical maneuver I can muster to keep my husband from turning into a Walmart referee. He wants so badly to go over and give them a piece of his mind. He thinks he is Wyatt Earp. I tell him I didn’t start traveling to put up with non-campground conflict. If it bothers him so much I think we should avoid these overnight stays. Besides, I think it could be dangerous confronting people that obviously have no common sense. He loves your column and I think if he hears some advice from you he may listen. Thanks in advance.
--Up Against the Wall-mart in Earp, CA

Dear Up:
Don’t get down on your husband. Those kind of irresponsible actions can make sane people crazy. I agree, he should not try to be the “Law west of the Walmart.” I also agree that these people do jeopardize the convenience we all enjoy. Walmart has actually been challenged by interests that would like to see them discontinue overnight parking privileges. They refused to stop offering this service. They said it was another customer service they would continue to promote in locations that did not disallow it by city ordinance. One thing you can do, to help compensate for the inconsiderate few who abuse the service, is be a loyal, courteous customer. Let store management know you are shopping and thank them for allowing you to stay. Call ahead and ask permission, even if you know it is allowed. Often they like RV’s to congregate in a certain section of the parking lot. Also, things change and you never know when a new ordinance might restrict overnight parking. These are much better tactics than confrontation with parking lot neighbors. If your husband goes out at all be sure to have him check his guns at the door. If anything, let him walk around the parking lot with a very large, official looking badge and stare, but, make him promise he won’t talk to anyone.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Motorhome Brake Dancing

2010-12-23T05:05:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
Maybe you can help solve this constant problem my wife and I have every time we park our rig. It’s a little embarrassing but I know many other people suffer from the same situation. We both drive our motorhome, we both take turns dumping the septic, we both know how to troubleshoot all the appliances. We are a great team. The problem is, she thinks she’s an expert at backing up and parking the rig. She is always telling others that I’m terrible at it. The fact is, I just give better signals than she does. I can get behind the motorhome and maneuver her right into the tightest spots with good hand signals. When I’m driving, I can’t even see her in the mirrors. She is usually in a blind spot behind the rig, flapping her hands and her gums. While she’s back there dancing around I can’t see or hear her. We have discussed this problem a million times, but I still can’t get it though to her where to stand and what signals I need. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
--Brake Dancing in Denver

Dear Brake:
This is a huge problem. I hear this constantly. If you look around the campground as people arrive you will see this scenario played out time and again. Couples seem to get frustrated with each other when trying to work together to park, especially in tight spaces. I suggest patience. Armed with that I suggest a couple props. The first is very important--an oven mitt. Yes, you heard me right. This is most important. If the person behind the rig giving parking signals wears an oven mitt there are certain signals that will not be able to be seen no matter how frustrated that person becomes. This can go a long way toward keeping the peace until the rig finally gets parked. Another piece of equipment that comes in handy is a cheap pair of walkie talkie’s. You can often find them at second hand stores for a few bucks. Another problem I see, in a majority of parking conflict cases, is over politeness. Not between the couple but with blocking traffic. Don’t worry about blocking the road or holding up another camper. We are all in the same boat (land yacht). They don’t mind waiting for you to take your time and get parked properly. Just don’t let them help you. Remember, they don’t have anything invested. Your spouse is going to make sure you don’t impale your rig on some hidden branch, but a bystander may not be as concerned. The next time you park the rig make a conscious effort to hold your tongue. Remember, it’s in a slippery spot. Make a pact, no fighting over parking. Watch others and see just how silly it is, then put yourself in that picture. Your New Year’s Resolution should be, “I’ll watch your back-up, you watch mine.”
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Down in the RV Dumps

2010-12-17T13:16:00.001-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We have been on our first shake down cruise with a new class C motorhome. It has been a real eye opening, learning experience. I have always taken my waste disposal for granted. I flush the toilet and it disappears forever. Now I get to see it one more time before it goes off to the big sewage system in the great unknown. My problem is not sanitation. I am questioning dump station manners. In my opinion, so far they stink. My first experience was outside Cody, Wyoming. It was a free dump station near a Veteran’s Memorial Park. The sign clearly stated “No Commercial Dumping.” Halfway through my dumping process a Canadian Tour bus pulled in. The driver backed up to the hole on his side (this was a two-holer) while his tour guide positioned him over the target. I could not imagine they were going to pull the pin without at least hooking up a hose. When I finally figured out that’s exactly what they were going to do, I screamed to my wife, “Jump or swim.” We hopped in the rig and sped off just as they pulled the plug. I was so upset I went a little ballistic. I walked back over to the dump station and told them what I thought about their method and inconsideration as we were standing just a few feet away. This is the most extreme example I can list so far, but I am just starting. My wife says I should roll with the punches and not let these people set me off. Should I suffer in silence when I find myself dumping with dopes, or relieve my stress by giving them a little “crap” so to speak?
--Bob in Blackwater, VA

Dear Bob:
First, I think you made the right decision. Always run first. I think you will find most fellow RV’ers to be very polite when it comes to sharing dumping stations. Most will go the extra mile when it comes to cleaning the area before they leave. Unfortunately, there are always a few bad apples that spoil the barrel. I don’t think losing your temper will make these people act or smell any better. For every dump station user that soils the area you will find nine that leave the area clean and tidy. Seldom will you be up against a tour bus worth of waste. Most RV’ers are using dump stations in a campground setting. I looked your dump station up on the internet. Yes, the internet can even tell you where to take a dump (rvdumps.com). You were at a city dump station that was probably there for the convenience of campers like yourself. Even if these jokers you had to deal with had permission, they still should have been more considerate and squared away, hygienically speaking. Losing your temper in the scenario you described is very understandable. In normal conditions, let it go. No pun intended.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV Insurance--Never Leave Home With It!

2010-12-10T13:54:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
We just bought a new Montana 5th wheel last month and escaped the Michigan Siberian north. We are in a great park in Bradenton Beach, Florida and feel we made the right decision. Having a new rig is exciting but I think my husband worries about it too much. We are well insured but have seen two hit and runs already this month. They are not malicious attacks. These people probably don’t even know they had hit something until they discovered a dent in their rigs. Our neighbor with a 40-foot motorhome, pulling a small pickup truck, pulled out while we were eating breakfast one morning. He took out a small palm tree on our site and just missed our truck. Before he exited the park he went over the curb and scraped a fire hydrant. He never even realized he hit anything.

Two days later the couple across the street with a three axle Airstream wiped out the whole side of their trailer, wrapping it around a telephone pole while turning out of their site too sharply. This morning while out walking we saw another motorhome back into a car while leaving the park. Is this a common occurrence for RVers? I hate to have my husband dwell on this issue all the time. I keep telling him it is just chance that we have witnessed so many collisions in the short time we have been traveling. He is already designing a portable post system to border our campsites as a “first line of defense” as he calls it. Please tell me this is not necessary. I feel like we are spending too much time worrying about this issue instead of enjoying our surroundings. I feel like my husband is getting to the point where he is not comfortable leaving our rig unattended. --Bump and Grind in Bradenton

Dear Bumper:
Don’t worry. Be happy. When you look around the campground at some of the large rigs that now ply the road, you would think this could be a huge problem. If you go on the internet and look for RV accident statistics you will find very little information. The fact is, RVers don’t hurt enough people to warrant their own statistic. I think your above average accident witnessing will decrease as you continue to travel. Look optimistically at your experience so far. It has heightened your personal awareness and will make you more careful in your own towing practice. When someone has a good percentage of their net worth in a new comfortable home on wheels, it makes them ever conscious of their surroundings and driving habits.

Many dealers take new customers through a driving course to demonstrate turning radius, swing ratio and tips on using mirrors effectively. Each driver is unique. This is no different from learning to drive a light truck or van. Each type of RV has a different reaction while maneuvering around tight campgrounds. I have known tour bus drivers who would take a 40 foot tour bus into New York City, but could not get used to parking a 5th wheel. Your husband should hold off on his “Perimeter Pole” design until you have had more time to experience just how safe it is to be surrounded by a whole herd of various sized RV’s. There is a “One Eyed” guy I wrote about a few weeks ago you might want to be aware of. Otherwise, I think you will discover the wonderful world of RV travel is almost utopia like in the safety department. You should encourage your husband to leave your rig unattended for extended lengths of time until his paranoia has sufficiently eased. Enjoy all of your neighbors and never, I mean never, let them see you sweat!
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Campground Reservation Dilemma

2010-12-03T06:23:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
My wife and I are fairly new at RVing. We didn’t realize how difficult it was going to be to secure a campsite when and where we travel. The reality of this time consuming chore never entered our minds during the years we dreamed of roaming around North America in our travel trailer. It has taken The adventure out of our sails. Our utopian plans of throwing out the anchor wherever the wind blew us has turned into the nightmare of securing reservations well in advance and putting ourselves on a schedule. We thought our time clock days were behind us and now find ourselves rat-racing around and keeping a daily planner again. Is this a syndrome that many Rver’s suffer with or will we finally overcome our fear of being site-less and end up in long lines with people that refuse to be sent to the reservation system?
--Dan in Demming

Dear Dan:
It’s a fact of life. A majority of campgrounds have become bookie joints. The future holds more of the same. You can let it corral you or use it to your advantage. It is not a perfect world we have created. The old saying, “If given lemons, make lemonade,” applies here to your feelings. The realities of the road are often much different from the picture ads you have been drooling over for years. That said, it is still a wonderful lifestyle. You have to weigh the difference of planning your trip far in advance and knowing you have secure sites, or winging it and taking your chances. The deck is stacked against you if you decide to wing it. There are actually scalpers who buy up the best sites and seasons in many state and national parks and resell them in bidding auctions on Ebay and Craigslist. In Florida, for example, many state parks have gone completely to reservations. Even if you do find a site during the week, you often have to move out on the weekend because they have been completely booked months in advance. Many National Forest Campgrounds have gone to reservations. I wouldn’t be surprised if soon it won’t be necessary to book ahead at Camp Walmart. The boondocking days are dwindling. It’s a numbers game we call supply and demand. Many places that used to be free are now charging for two reasons -- #1 because they can, and #2 because of overuse. In the present economy you will find many free campgrounds full of unfortunate people who have lost their homes to foreclosure. There have already been attempts to erode the Senior Discount from government campgrounds, and with state budgets in the black water tank you are finding fewer services and less maintained facilities at higher fees. My advice is to stop dwelling on lemons and adjust the sails and make lemonade. There are still many wonderful places to drop anchor. You can arm yourself with more information using campground directories, computer websites, fellow campers and news media to find those gems that few have discovered. Eventually, you will find places appealing enough and you will know when you want to return and for how long. At that point “Book ‘em Danno,” and you will end up loving the reservation system.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Campground Segregation

2010-11-25T13:06:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I am seeking help with a problem I have had ever since I started full-time RVing. I am single and I have a wonderful little rig. I pull a 17 foot Casita with an older model Jeep Wrangler Laredo. I have developed a complex over the past several years about my size. Everyone seems to believe that size matters. I don’t feel bigger is better, but in many situations I am treated as small and insignificant. I love to Kayak and carry an inflatable 12’ Sea Eagle kayak. I prefer to camp near the water and I am finding that many parks reserve their water sites strictly for larger and newer rigs than mine. It seems discriminatory. I am willing to pay the value added price for the water sites, but the big dogs do not seem to want me hanging out with them.

I was recently in Florida on the Ocklawaha River at a wonderful campground. The river sites were 25 percent more money. I was willing to pay but was informed that I was “too small.” There were sites available but the neighborhood was occupied only by monster motorhomes in the several hundred thousand dollar range. I can afford to buy a comparable rig with pocket change, like those taking up the primo spaces, but I prefer my small, unique, reliable, uncomplicated Casita. Do you suggest I get professional help or buy Psychology for Dummies on Amazon? I feel I need to deal with this malady soon. If I don’t nip it in the bud it could end up taking over my life as increasingly more campgrounds become elitist country clubs.
--David in Goliath, Ga.

Dear David:
You need to concentrate on the phrase “Small Is Beautiful.” This phrase is believed to empower people more in contrast with phrases such as “bigger is better.” Size does matter but why not “Less is More.” Size matters to you in your choice of rig size. It also matters to those privileged river site residents. I see two scenarios evolving in the RV world. The first is the one you describe. Many campgrounds are developing themselves to cater only to the high-end RV set or segregating as you in your case. This could change radically as more people are opting for smaller and more fuel efficient rigs since the economic crash and spiking oil prices.

I personally find it offensive when I am denied a space in a campground because of the age or size of my rig. However, mental health is best maintained by rationalizing these social realities. I would not, and do not hesitate to display my displeasure with campground owners who flagrantly tell me I am not good enough for some section of their park. You are as much of the economic engine that runs the ever-changing camping industry as anyone else. You vote with your dollars. Your dollars count as much as the devaluated dollars packed around in the pockets of those in the more luxurious rigs. Money talks and boycott walks. Don’t get mad, get even. Segregation can only be slain by marching, right out the door and down the road to an equal opportunity campground. You must decide if you want to practice long distance kayak carrying techniques or affirmative action. Just say no to your mental complex, stiffen your spine and follow the river to another campground. Letting this social injustice eat away at you will only take you to a mental state known professionally as “up a creek without a paddle.”
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

A New RV or a Diamond Ring?

2010-11-18T18:31:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I hope you can help me with my husband’s paranoia about our finances. We have been full-time traveling in our RV since retirement. We took the plunge, sold the house and bought a used 5th wheel. We have been on the road for seven years and both enjoy the lifestyle. Now that we have our sea legs I have a desire for several options that our rig lacks. We are perfectly capable of buying a new rig but my husband keeps on insisting we save our money and just update what we have. I tell him we can’t take it with us, let’s splurge a bit. He keeps everything we own in tip top condition so this one will not wear out in my lifetime. I just want some of the new features that our design will not allow him to upgrade. Should I put my foot down and insist on new wheels or relent and appreciate that he is frugal to a fault.
--Abstemious in Albany

Dear Abby:
You could try several approaches. First, explain to your husband that this is America. Saving is not the American way. Explain to him that this is a throw away society and that he is causing layoffs in Elkhart, Indiana with his tightwad ways. If that fails to convince him, you might want to suggest a “new” used rig. This is a buyer’s market and I am sure you could find the options you are looking for at substantially less than a brand new rig.
Many people dream of retiring and doing exactly what you are doing. Unfortunately, for many, it doesn’t last long for various reasons including health issues, finances, homesickness and insecurity. From this pool of ex-RVer’s you can often find a nice unit that has had little use and deeply discounted. Or you could tell him you want to renew your vows and instead of that five karat diamond ring you never got the first time around, you will settle for a new RV with all the bells and whistles. I don’t know your financial situation, so be careful what you wish for. There are people with the fanciest rigs who cannot afford to drive them around the block. Buying used helps with the initial depreciation hit and often the first owners worked all the bugs out. I’m talking about mechanical problems not bedbugs.
--Keep Smilin’ Dr. R. V. Shrink

RV party animals

2010-11-12T07:23:00.001-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
Can you tell me what my attitude should be about noisy campground neighbors? I seem passive in situations because I do not react visibly to emotions I might be feeling. My husband on the other-hand would be considered aggressive. He can sometimes detonate without much provocation. When we are camping in our motorhome next to a rowdy bunch I like to think they are letting off steam in a party mode and we should just move to a quieter site. My husband thinks they are inconsiderate and demands that they tone their noise levels down. Several times this has put us dangerously close to physical confrontation. Often alcohol is a factor, especially during the holiday camping season. Do you think the way to handle these situations is to move, confront, or submit in quiet frustration. --Nervous in New Haven

Dear Nervous:
I agree with your husband on the inconsiderate charge. However, confrontation will bring you nothing but grief. Moving is an option but that still does not solve the problems for others around the offensive site. You might first want to report the problem to a campground host or ranger if one is available. Most campgrounds have some basic noise and quiet hour rules. In most cases these are good people, gone bad. Like you say, they are on a camping weekend and letting off steam. That still does not give them license to irritate their camping neighbors. A better option than being aggressive would be to “kill them” with kindness. Introduce yourself in a friendly fashion and ask them if they could keep it down a little. From that introduction you will quickly discover if they are good people, gone bad, or inconsiderate people you will need to report or move away from. One of the advantages about the RV lifestyle, unlike home ownership, is the ability to pick new neighbors as quickly as moving your rig. Let me stress that fighting fire with fire is not the answer to your frustration. Trying to out rowdy your rowdy neighbors with higher decibels will only escalate things. So put away the four foot amplifiers hooked to your Bose Wave music system playing Luciano Pavarotti, turn off the generator, stop honking the horn, and move on down the road.

--Keep Smilin' Dr. R. V. Shrink

WIFE WITH WEIGHT PROBLEM

2010-11-05T08:01:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:

My wife has a terrible weight problem. I am trying to change her lifestyle in an effort to reduce her weight. It has started to affect our motorhome mileage. We travel several months of the year and she feels she has to bring half of our worldly possessions along on every trip. I have debated with her endlessly about the seemingly needless paraphernalia she totes along and never uses. It all falls on deaf ears. When I start in on a discussion of reduction she takes her hearing aid out and refuses to participate. We haul bikes we never ride, a sewing machine never plugged in, extra pots, pans and iron skillets that never boil or fry anything. The list goes on. I am at my wits end. How can I persuade her to leave some of this anchor accumulation in port when we sail off down the road? It takes me several miles to get up to speed and I avoid mountain passes like the plague.

--Lead Bottom in Leavenworth

Dear Lead Bottom:

With a heavy heart I read of your dilemma. Some individuals are born pack rats. I think you may have married one. It is my guess that you realized this trait in your wife long before you had a motorhome. Carrying too much weight can be not only an expensive mistake, but a safety issue. I would do a few things immediately. First approach the subject from a safety viewpoint and not from that of a minimalist. Then slip her a copy of Walden by Thoreau. if that helps, follow up with The Zen of Decluttered Packrattery. Watch the old “I Love Lucy” trailer episode with Lucy sneaking her rock collection into the trailer when Desi isn’t looking. All of these subtle tactics should have a cumulative impact. You may see your wife begin to streamline her packing to a more frugal level of organization. In the meantime you might want to make sure your holding tanks are as empty as you can keep them. Liquid is heavy and emptying your tanks will help you balance out your wife’s perceived necessities and save on gas. Also, be sure your brakes are up to snuff.

After exhausting all good faith efforts you will eventually have to say, “Enough is enough” and start throwing out ballast if you expect to rise from this dilemma. Motorhome obesity is the number one killer on steep, curvy, mountain roads. Your wife needs to understand the gravity of this situation. You may have to put your wife on a Weight Watcher program. Stop at every truck weigh station you come across and point out to her your above average scale ticket. It really comes down to health and safety issues. You need to balance this issue out before your next departure.

--Keep Smilin’ Dr. R. V. Shrink

Geritol Posse Rides Again

2010-10-28T09:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:

My wife and I spent a wonderful few days in one of Arizona’s most beautiful “Sky Islands”, high above Green Valley, Arizona. Being winter, we enjoyed sunny warm days and cold nights in Madera Canyon’s Bog Springs National Forest Campground. We love these out of the way, hard to reach, NF campgrounds for the solitude they offer, the beautiful locations, and the dark quiet nights.

The problem started when we left our mountain utopia and ventured into the valley below. The land of “Oscar the Grouch.” We decided to stop at the Green Valley, AZ Library Book Sale to find some reading material. It was early in the morning and we found a huge mall type parking lot behind the library. The sign said it was the White Elephant Thrift Store, but other buildings looked like Sheriff, Road Commission, county type stuff. We were the only vehicle in the lot. I parked horizontally, taking up five spaces, way out at the edge of the lot in nobody’s way. It was an hour until the library would open so we ate breakfast. Over the next hour, every lot slot in the parking area filled. We were amazed. A line was forming at the White Elephant Thrift door. Soon the Golden Girls blocked me in from the front and Archie and Edith blocked me in from the back.

When the hundreds of lot slots were filled, people started parking out on both sides of the street.

I thought I was just imagining the looks we were getting from people walking by. Could my five spaces be that important in a sea of overflowing vehicles that clearly had to flood the nearby roads whether I was squatting here or not? I went on a recon mission. I discovered they were all here for the White Elephant Thrift Store. It wasn’t a once a year sale. This thing goes on six days a week, fifty-two weeks a year. It is more popular than Walmart at Christmas. When I got back to the motor home I discovered I had not been imagining the “LOOK.” The head of the Geritol Posse knocked at our door. At first I thought it was the Sheriff. Brown shirt with official arm patches, khaki pants, shiny gold badge and radio. My first clue she was White Elephant Security was the fact that she wasn’t packin’ any heat.

She said, “You have to move. You are taking up five spaces.” I could see the panic in my wife’s face. She thought I was going to go into my raving jailhouse lawyer mode. It was true that I was breaking no law. I had every right to be parked where I was. I could have given this female Broderick Crawford much grief, but I could also see the strain in her face. Coming out and telling me I must move was the last thing she wanted to be doing, but the Golden Girls and several other complaints forced her from her better judgement. I could have unhooked, parked the car and motor home separately and vertically. That would have really blocked the lot. I know that would have sent her into a panic. So instead of being Mr. Hyde, I decided to be Dr. Jekyll. I told her I couldn’t squeeze out until she had one of her complainers move their vehicle. The word was out. I had been evicted. Cars were already vying for position to take my five spaces. When she got the car behind me moved, I still could not exit the parking lot until she made those crowding for the slots, like vultures on a fresh kill, move on past. They did not want to lose their positions. Because of poor eyesight, I could tell many had taken their Vytorin in combination with their Viagra at breakfast and it had hardened their hearts. They wanted to string me up but couldn’t find a tall enough cactus. We finally eased on down the road and found a gas station that said we could drop the rig for a couple hours. We went back to the library and later explored the White Elephant store. I saw my Rent-a-Cop friend and told her I had parked down in Nogales, Mexico and wondered if that was far enough.

It still bothers me that I rolled over for this insinuated parking infraction. I feel I may have weakened RV Parking Rights when I cooperated and left my spaces. Should I have hunkered down, stood my ground, forced legal action for the benefit of all other RVer’s who might need several spaces to park in the future? Am I getting soft? Could I be losing my debating will?

--Violated in Green Valley

Dear Violated:

There is no doubt that you had a rock solid case for parking where you were. I find it very compassionate on your part to accept the inconvenience of moving to relieve the stress of the security guard who had the thankless job of asking you to move. For you to recognize her uncomfortable situation and defuse it is commendable. I don’t think this indicates you are losing your edge. Instead you may be honing your relationship skills. If you never see that look of panic on your wife’s face again, that could signal a soft patch in your abilities to dole out attitude adjustments to those in need. For any damage you might have inflected on future RV Parking Rights, you more than made up for in goodwill with the Green Valley, White Elephant Law Enforcement Division of Arizona.

Keep Smilin’, Dr. R. V. Shrink

SLEEP APNEA CAMPING

2010-10-22T05:18:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:

We have just started living the RV lifestyle and immediately the price of camping caused sticker shock. My husband now wants to do what he calls “stealth camping.” He likes to park in crazy places when we are traveling that cost little or nothing. I know many people spend nights at Walmart and other retailers who seem fine with short term camping, but my husband is now starting to look at hospital, church and VFW Hall parking lots as his personal KOA’s. He claims “we pay our taxes” and pulls off into fields that he thinks are government run public lands. I am as nervous as a squirrel in a bird feeder most of the time. I can’t relax when we are parking in suspect spots. Maybe I watched too many horror films when I was young. Every time I hear a noise I think it’s Eddie Scissorhands at the door asking us to leave. I swore, one night in Texas, I heard a chainsaw outside our rig. I keep telling him, “If we can’t afford to stay in RV parks we shouldn’t be traveling.” Please give me some ammunition to argue my point. Often times I don’t think we are safe.

--Sleepless in Seattle

Dear Sleepless:

Stealth Camping, Boon-Docking, or whatever else you want to call it, is fine to a point. It sounds like your husband might have an addiction to free camping. Safety should be your first priority. Walmart is a great pit stop when making time and looking for a safe harbor for the night. Most have security and welcome RV’ers for overnight parking. If your husband is insisting on staying in areas you feel are not safe, and it makes you feel uncomfortable, you need to let him know that you are not going to continue this practice. My suggestion would be to become efficiently involved in finding reasonably priced RV sites. Use freecampgrounds.com, various campground books, start a database of nice places you find and places other campers tell you about. Most are not actually free, but very reasonable. Invest in discount camping services, get your senior camping pass from the government if you are seniors and US citizens. Some states, for example New Mexico, sell reasonable annual passes for state park camping. There is a whole host of ways to save money and camp in amazingly beautiful, safe places if you work at it. There is a difference between frugal and free. There is safety in numbers and usually if it’s a good idea, some other RV’er has already figured it out and will be there camped alongside of you. If you are nervous about being asked to leave in the middle of the night, ask in advance. Many Walmarts will not allow overnight parking because of a City Ordinance. You have to help your husband understand that there is a difference between an RV’er and a person who is homeless. Don’t let your husband sleep soundly while you are up all night worried about every little sound you hear. Wake him up and say, “Did you hear that?” He didn’t, of course, because he was sleeping and there was no noise. After you do this a dozen times a night he will think twice about parking in places where you can’t sleep.

--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R. V. Shrink

RV Roulette

2010-10-14T19:09:00.001-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:

My husband and I have been traveling for two years. We have now seen a lot of the country and have enjoyed many places enough to go back a second time. The problem is HIS favorites are not MY favorites. We are having a difficult time planning our winter destination because we want to go to completely different places. Is this a normal problem with full-timers? How can we solve this destination dilemma?

--Torn in Toledo

Dear Torn:

Leaving Toledo for anywhere cannot be a huge problem, if the line from an old John Denver song is any gauge, “I spent a week there one day.” To solve your problem you might just want to go to both your favorite places. You are full-timing. That should give you plenty of time allotment to make you both happy. Somewhere in between you might just find Utopia for Ubothia. If that does not sound reasonable you may have to play RV Roulette. It is very easy. Pick a tire on your rig. With chalk, mark a dividing line across the tire. Mark one side #1 and the other #2. Start driving. At your first pit stop, check the tire. If your number is pavement down, you head for your destination. Check this tire each time you stop. Whoever has their number, pavement down, changes the direction to their destination. You keep doing this until one of you reaches your destination or by chance you find Ubothia first. You can just flip a coin, but that is so boring, so final and so depressing for the loser. The RV Roulette method gives you hope every time you make a pit stop. It is much like the lottery. Statistics have proven that your chances of winning are the same whether you buy a ticket or not. The mathematical probability of one of you actually getting to your destination before finding a thousand great places by chance is nil. It’s like Spin the Bottle and Wheel of Fortune combined into one satisfying adventure.

--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R. V. Shrink

Man's Best Friend?

2010-10-06T18:45:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:

My wife and I have been full-time traveling for three years in our 35-foot fifth wheel. We’ve had a dog our whole married life but when our Schnauzer died just before we started traveling we decided not to get another dog while traveling. That only lasted a few months. My wife wanted a dog real bad. I would point out to her other campers at dark thirty in the morning forced outside in inclement weather walking their dogs. I argued that we have a small living space and that a dog would limit our hiking in the many areas that do not allow dogs on the trails. I pointed out the expense a dog incurs and a crimp in our no schedule lifestyle we were then enjoying. We have a new puppy that has torn our cushions, and given us a limited schedule of how long we can be gone. Most of the time it’s me out at dark thirty with the little poop machine, allowing him to sniff every bush in the campground, and toting a rubber glove to deposit his deposits somewhere appropriate. All the time I am trying to avoid the land mines that a majority of other less responsible dog owners have left. I am resenting this mutt and my lack of backbone to “just say no” to dogs. I should have written you before the fact, but would appreciate some advice now.

--Leashed in Lubbock

Dear Leashed:

You are absolutely right. You should have written me first. The responsibilities involved with having an animal are the same as having a child. I get this type of complaint all the time. The truth is you agreed to a dog. You and your wife are a management team. You both have needs that are important to a happy lifestyle and often these needs can clash, as with this dog. You admit you made your best argument for not traveling with a dog (early walks, damage, tracking in wet and dirt, expense, limited camping and hiking opportunities, small living space, scheduling inconvenience etc...). It’s obvious that your wife was on the debate team in school and you where busy playing football. It is unfortunate that you are not accepting the dog, but look at the bright side - you made your wife happy. There is no going back. You now have a dog to raise, toilet train, feed, educate, love and enjoy. Yes, I said enjoy. That is what you will eventually come to do. Your dog will live a good decade or longer and eventually wag his way into your heart. So why not accept your fate. The companionship is a respectable trade off for what you are giving up. You will probably see many beautiful sunrises you would otherwise have missed. You will also meet many new friends on your relief effort walks, and next time you don’t agree with a decision that has a huge impact on your lifestyle, you might become a better debater. One technique you could have used was, “How about an indoor cat?” They don’t require early morning walks, they offer good companionship, they can be left longer, no campground restrictions, no mice in the “fiver”, and they make purr-fect traveling pets.

--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R. V. Shrink

JUMP OR SWIM

2010-09-28T06:24:00.001-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:

My husband has been experiencing leakage problems. It seems that wherever we park our trailer he creates wet spots and puddles. I keep telling him he is not tightening the hoses (water and sewer) enough. He claims he is and that it’s just poor engineering in the design of our home on wheels. I find it more embarrassing than he does and it causes a lot of petty arguments that could be avoided if he could just dam the drips. Should I just keep silent and jump or swim? I find it hard to bite my tongue when people around us all seem to be staring at our growing watermarks.

--Damp in Delaware

Dear Damp:

Ring around the camper is not unusual. I have to agree, in part, with your husband. Many RVs have poorly engineered water connectors. There are several after market adaptors that cure tight hose angles and leaky water threads. As for the sewer, I would advise you to jump not swim. Your husband should be able to stop any sewage drip. Often with the dirty swirly it is a matter of matted matter keeping the seals from doing their job. This cleaning operation gives flushing a whole new meaning. If in your marriage you have worked out an arrangement where you are supervision and your husband is sanitation, then you should continue to evaluate and grade his leak stoppage efforts. If you share responsibilities equally you may need to get your hands dirty, dive in and help him solve this problem. I’m sure you have as much input as he does, if you get my drift!

--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R. V. Shrink

LIVING IN THE FAST LANE

2010-09-22T19:05:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:

My husband is blind in his right eye and has no depth perception. We have a new 40 foot motor home and he always needs me in the front seat to watch the passenger side when changing lanes. Also he cannot park the thing without me giving him constant direction. He should have been a kamikaze pilot. He won’t stay in a campground unless they have a pull-thru site, he’s nervous as a turkey at Thanksgiving when we are city driving and has a panic attack every time we have to weave into a gas pump island. He swears a blue streak when we have to merge and I just can’t take it anymore. Is this normal behavior or should I sign him up for truck driving school? It is creating a lot of tension. Please help.

--Co-pilot in Columbus

Dear Columbus:

You have discovered a brave new world in travel. Have you thought about doing some of the driving yourself? Driving a large RV can be a challenge for those without your husband’s vision handicap. He might not be cut out for his new piloting duties. He might just be co-pilot material. Travel can be stressful if driving a big rig makes you feel uncomfortable. You have to think about your safety and those you share the road with. You are missing many great camping areas if you are eliminating those without pull-thru sites. Riding with your husband would make me nervous also. I have always said, “I want to die in my sleep like my grandpa, not like all the screaming people in the back seat of his car.” There are some great motor home driving courses available from various dealerships. If you or your husband cannot find a comfort level in handling your rig you should consider something smaller. Drive before you buy. Keep downsizing until you find your comfort zone. If you get down to a Harley with a sidecar and your husband is still nervous, you might want to consider condo living.

Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

QUESTIONING MY ACTIONS

2010-09-11T04:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Doctor R.V. Shrink:

During our recent travels to several National Parks we have noticed a difference in Park Ranger attitude. Many of them seem burned out and annoyed that we were asking questions about park features, policy, directions and programs. I know they get asked the same questions a million times but I would think it comes with the profession. With one especially rude ranger I finally reached the end of my patience and gave him a good dressing down. After my outburst I felt awful. I don’t know who got the attitude adjustment, she or me. How should I have handled the situation?

--Regretful in the Rockies

Dear Regretful:

Not having been present, I can only give you some scenario advise. First, I wouldn’t beat yourself up over this incident. We all lose our temper on occasion. I agree that taking visitor questions are a major part of most park service employee duties. It must get old after a while, but a professional would suck it up and be polite. I have read articles listing absurd questions people ask the rangers, like, “Where do we catch the escalator to Half Dome?” “What time does the three o’clock bus leave?” and “Does the river follow the canyon all the way down?”

You have to cut Park employees some slack. Many are seasonal personnel who are often asked to wear more than one hat when it comes to park duties. Hours are often long and varied and half their pay is a view of the scenery they work around. With that said, if you spend enough time in the parks you are going to run into a fair number of rangers who definitely need an occasional attitude adjustment. As card carrying Golden Eagle/Age Passport members it is our job to help the park service out and tweak those individuals who need tweaking. So don’t feel bad. Heck, you might have a Junior Ranger Badge coming. Your ranger could have been a slacker. You may have strengthened the Corps with your little outburst. Some people stop looking for work once they have found a job, but that is rarely the case in the park service.

I heard a visitor ask a ranger in Glacier National Park if the collared bears were tame. I think all of us would have to admit that the thought of answering “yes” would at least go through our mind.

--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

SIGNALS CROSSED

2010-09-03T15:08:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:

After my husband retired he bought a TV satellite dish and internet card boosters for our rig and we started traveling full-time. I wanted to see the country, hike, bike and live in natural areas like National Parks and National Forests. I am finding we are spending most of our time looking for campsites with good tower signals, few trees that can block the satellite dish, and little opportunity for hiking and biking. It takes him almost an hour just to get his dish pointed in the right direction. Every time I want to do some sightseeing there’s a big game on or something he just can’t miss on ESPN. We might just as well be parked at home in the driveway. I need your help if I am to enjoy this lifestyle of travel. How do I approach this problem without alienating my husband?

--Signal Problem in South Padre

Dear Sig:

This should be fairly easy. Your husband just needs a little bit of reprogramming. You should spend an hour or so getting him pointed in the right direction. There is nothing wrong with having good communications. In fact, that is exactly what the two of you need. Your husband likes his sports and in this day and age with satellite communications he can take that with him anywhere, as you well know. It is the addiction to it that seems to be his problem. I would go as far as saying his couch potato ways will eventually cause him health problems. You should approach it from that standpoint. I’m sure you have a travel budget for your finances. You also need a budget for your time. You both should budget time for your personal interests and time for activities you both enjoy together. It is easy to get into the slow mode and get stuck. You have to take the initiative to let your husband know your expectations of the RV lifestyle and negotiate how to blend it with his. Once you come to an understanding, you both should find plenty of time for the activities you enjoy both separately and jointly. You don’t want your husband’s retirement to become your full-time job, so be more of a spectator and less of a referee. This early in his retirement he is still enjoying doing nothing and not having to worry about getting caught. Give him some slack and a little direction and I think you will find harmony and happier trails.

-Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

WHERE THERE IS SMOKE THERE IS "FIREWOOD"

2010-08-27T19:08:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:

We have our thirteen-year-old grandson traveling with us this summer and my wife and I are enjoying him tremendously. However, we never get any alone time, if you catch my drift. My wife is paranoid he might come bounding in the trailer at any time. He will be with us for two months and does not like to take part in campground activities without one of us tagging along. Do you have any suggestions on building his confidence to do things on his own?
--Frustrated in Fargo

Dear Frustrated:

The first thing you need is a code word. Make a joke of it. Start yelling “firewood” every time you approach the trailer, as if you are selling firewood. Your grandson will soon catch on and you will find him yelling "firewood" every time he comes back to the trailer. What this kid really needs is a paper route. Find out when the paper is delivered to the nearest campground store. Send your grandson for the paper an hour earlier than it arrives. Tell him if it isn’t in yet to wait for it. When you hear “firewood” you had better be done smoking. If this works for you your wife will really be surprised. Behind every successful man they say there is a surprised women.
--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

HOT TONGUE, COLD SHOULDER

2010-08-21T04:13:00.001-07:00

Dear Doctor Shrink:

We were trapped at an RV dealership in New Mexico for two weeks because it was a cold winter and our heater would not stay running. The mechanic pulled it out once and said it worked fine after bench testing it. He then sold us a new propane regulator and filled our coach tank with a drying agent at the tune of three hundred dollars. The heater would still not light, and we were then told we had electrical problems in our converter and the furnace was not getting enough juice. After two more dealers, and two more bills, we found out it was the main board. After this was replaced everything started working fine. I feel abused by incompetent and shady RV dealers who took advantage of our lack of mechanical skills. Knowing that the furnace could not have functioned on the first bench test we paid for, I feel we should get a refund for at least that service. My husband does not agree. He doesn’t like to rock the boat. He will usually do the right thing after he has tried everything else. This issue is causing tension between us. Should I just drop it or do you suggest I keep harping until he calls them.
--Ripped Off Road Warrior

Dear Ripped:

I don’t think your husband should call any of the dealers. He doesn’t seem to have the stomach for conflict and debate. I think you should call them. You sound like you understand the problem, have ample facts to prove your point, and the passion for debate it often takes to wear down a business that has made mistakes honestly or otherwise. I would give the dealer the benefit of the doubt. Don’t come out swinging no matter how upset you are. The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made. If you cannot come to some agreement, after the first attempt, it is simply a matter of persistence and volume control. I ran into a mechanic this winter who told me it took him fifteen years to discover he had no talent for fixing RV’s, but he couldn’t give it up because by that time he had a constant stream of people clamoring for his expertise. In the future make sure you do not send your husband in to do the negotiating. He is too easily bamboozled. Leave him in the parking lot and handle it yourself. Get an understanding of results expected before service fees, and never, I mean never, let them see you sweat.

--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Motorhome Middle Ground

2010-08-13T19:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R. V. Shrink:

We live nine months of the year in a Class “C” motorhome. It is usually 27 feet of heaven. The only time I find it small is when my wife stays up late watching television. She is a night owl and I can’t sleep. Don’t tell me to buy ear plugs or earphones, I’ve tried both of those items. My wife gets so involved in her shows she starts crying or laughing both of which make the coach rock n’ roll. She also pops popcorn when I am trying to sleep. I need a solution before I develop a severe case of sleep apnea.

--Sleepless in Seattle

Dear Sleepless:

There is only one way to eat an elephant -- one bite at a time. Your first step should be a good set of support jacks to eliminate the coach movement. Then you need to discover the things that you do that annoy your wife when you get up at dark thirty and she is trying to sleep off her wild night of popcorn bingeing. Never go to the negotiating table empty handed. Being on the same schedule in a small space would make it much easier on both of you. If you can’t work out an arrangement you will both need to work on your consideration skills. Nothing is easy to the unwilling. I know you have already tried ear plugs but they are not the only solution. A fan nearby will create a constant noise level that you might find soothing as well as noise insulation against exploding popcorn. If none of these ideas work, you might try installing a smoke alarm above the toaster. When you get up to watch the early morning farm report on TV, the toaster will trip the smoke alarm about the time the coffee begins percolating. This will wake your wife and bring her to the breakfast (negotiating) table that I mentioned earlier. Unless you want to buy a larger motorhome, don’t flinch too early. Hold out for good faith bargaining that will work for both of you. The most important trip you may take in your motorhome is meeting your wife half way to the popcorn popper.

--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

HOSTING AN ARGUMENT

2010-08-06T12:23:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R. V. Shrink:

My wife Helen and I just had a big argument because I told her she was short with the campground host. We came into the campground, with our tent camper, late evening, and the host reluctantly opened his motorhome door to talk to us. I think he was watching a ball game and we disturbed him. My wife thought he was rude and was very upset with him. I tried to explain that the campground host program is not a 24/7 job, usually pays with free rent, and is designed more to supervise an area, not monitor and police it around the clock. When I told her the campground host is not like the doorman at the Ritz, Mount St. Helen went off. Can you straighten one of us out. Preferably her. Thanks in advance.

--Squabble in Sequoia

Dear Squabble:

You are absolutely right in your understanding of the campground host job, but you need some work on your explanation delivery to Helen. Give her a break. Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about. Sometimes after a day of driving and getting in late, nerve endings can be a bit frayed, fuses a bit short and sarcasm levels a bit high.

At this point in the day everyone should put themselves in the other persons moccasins. In a perfect world the host would see that you are in late and having a tough time. Helen might consider the host has had enough problems for one day and is trying to relax and watch his game.

You have the hardest job. You have to be a spectator and not a referee. I think you were doing fine until the “Ritz” remark. My suggestion would be to get Helen a campground host job. This will save you some rent, give her a broader view of the many duties a campground host is responsible for, and a glimpse into the hassles many of them have to deal with daily. I must temper all these remarks with the fact that hosts come in all varieties and some have a much more compassionate disposition than others. Helen could have been partially right about this host. You should always try to meet her halfway unless she is a poor judge of distance. I’m not suggesting you and Helen ignore your disagreements. “Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; and argument an exchange of ignorance.” But, one thing you should never do is argue in a tent. When you go stomping out of a tent and slam the flap behind you, there are no sound effects.

--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Sucking the Juice Out of Life

2010-07-29T17:49:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R. V. Shrink:

When my wife and I bought our motorhome the salesman was our best friend, now he doesn’t even know our name. Our new best friend is the head mechanic at the dealership. I just wanted to camp but my wife wanted the doorbell that played a dozen different tunes, electric steps, push-button awning and a media center that is so hi-tech our TOAD is a Geek Squad VW with two guys in it. So far we have spent more time on the road looking for RV repair service than fishing. When things aren’t working right I find myself blaming my wife for talking me into all these expensive extras. It has caused a lot of frustration and arguing in our marriage. Am I wrong? Do I need an attitude adjustment? I hate conflict. I just want to go fishing.

--Broken Down in Biloxi

Dear Broken:

Every rig has its problems. The more toys you have the more problems that come with them. I don’t think you can blame your wife. I have to assume you agreed to all the options you ended up with. She was thinking about options and you where thinking about fishing. You have to work through every relationship problem to a conclusion. As Phyllis Diller always said, “Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.” Clear the air and let your feelings be heard. If you would have practiced this method during the purchase phase of your new adventure you wouldn’t be having to do so much of it now. You have two things going for you. A TOAD (not with two guys in it, I’m sure) and a media center. When things break down, you can easily find a repair video on YouTube, like the RV Doctor, showing you exactly how to fix it. They have everything on there from soup to nuts. Then you can get into your TOAD and go back to the nearest town for parts. Our motorhome is a 21 year old Class “C” Jayco and we have been broken down twice in the last month due to ignition problems. Instead of fighting, we worked together. We Googled up a YouTube, watched a guy troubleshoot and explain repair procedures for both problems. We then Googled the nearest part store, called to make sure our part was in stock, jumped in the tow car and picked it up. It was an adventure. Stopped for ice cream, made the repair, then my wife went fishin’ (with me). So turn your lemon into lemonade and start sucking the juice out of life. -- Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

She wants to dump. He won't let her. Help!

2010-07-22T10:45:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R. V. Shrink:
My husband is a bit of a Male Chauvinist Pig. I want to be the total RV woman and he won’t let me dump the septic. He says it wouldn’t look right and that it’s too complicated and messy for me. Can you help me convince him that I am perfectly capable of handling a crappy job like this. It would make me feel whole if I could just add this to my RV resume’. Thanks in advance. --Down in the Dumps in Davenport

Dear Down:

Most people write me because someone is giving them a bunch of crap. You are the first one asking for it. I totally agree with you. He’s a pig and hogging all the slop. I think I should actually be treating your husband. I long distance hike a lot and my wife travels alone in an RV for days and months at a time looking for me (not too hard). She loves to do the dump, and I I love to watch her. She wants me to do it once in awhile, but I tell her, “It just wouldn’t look right!”

I am guessing that many of the comments for this post will prove that many couples share this duty. It looks right, it feels right, it just smells bad. It’s not that complicated. If you do something wrong, it’s jump or swim. When traveling in an RV, everyone should share all the duties, even the dirty swirly. Thousands of women traveling alone have mastered this movement. Remember, Ginger Rogers used to do everything Fred Astaire did, only backwards and in high heels. Stop dancing around this issue. Take the bull by the horns and show him you can pull the plunger just as fluidly as he can.

--Keep Smilin‘ Dr. R.V. Shrink

Budge woes. How can we afford to follow our RV dream?

2010-07-21T12:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R. V. Shrink:
We have been planning our retirement and mostly full-time RV travel for several years. Everything was on schedule until the bubble burst and the economy tanked. We still want to retire but we lost half our investment savings in the crash. We fired our investment advisor and put what was left in bonds, but our travel budget and dreams are shrinking. We read articles about people working on the road, hosting campgrounds and using various strategies to live the dream. I have a fear of not being able to survive financially on the road. Can you help me overcome this hang-up. --Panic in Pottstown

Dear Panic:

There are a million ways to retire and another million ways to travel and live full-time in an RV. I kept telling my wife I wanted to retire and she would always say, “You have to have a JOB first!” What a killjoy. I would tell her about an article I read that said, “You only need two things to retire successfully, a spouse and a TV, and they both have to be working.”

I am no financial advisor and do not know your personal situation. I can say, that when you retire, how well you live at home or on the road depends on your lifestyle. To some people roughing it is bad room service. Some people travel ten thousand+ miles per year and others have a few favorite places they drop anchor for months at a time. My wife and I traveled for seven years working three months on, three months off. We always found interesting work, lived on one paycheck and saved the other. After three months we would National Park hop for three more. Made money and many lifetime friends around the country working our various jobs. My point is, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

I would advise you to be careful taking any of the various volunteer positions available to RVers, if you are having a regular financial shortfall. Besides free camping, these jobs make no cents.

Adjust course with your shrinking budget and full steam ahead. The economy will recover if history is any indicator. If you keep thinking you’re shrinking with those low interest bonds, I can still treat you--maybe I can help you be a little patient.

--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

HE'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!

2010-07-16T10:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:

We have just started full-time RVing. There has been a lot more adjustment than I expected. My husband worked in an auto plant in Flint, Mich. for 32 years. Before the industry caved in, and he took a buy out, he was working 60+ hours per week. Then when he was home, most of that time he was sleeping. Now we live in a 30-foot, 5th wheel and he’s awake. I think I still like him, but after 30 years of me running the ship, he now thinks he’s the Captain all of a sudden. When I’m cooking, he’s over my shoulder, when I’m balancing the checkbook, he’s double-checking my math. When I’m doing the laundry, he’s measuring the soap. Bottom line, he’s driving me crazy. I know it’s not right, or normal, but I keep having urges to pull away from the gas pump while he is in paying for the fuel. Can you help me with this stressful transition into a lifestyle we have dreamed about for 25 years. --Stressed in Stuart, Fla.

Dear Stressed:
This is one of the most common ailments I deal with in my practice. You must approach it with simple management skills. Being blunt with your husband will only cause resentment. What your husband needs is a job, and he needs to be closely managed without it feeling like supervision. Whether he is handy with tools or not, start finding things wrong with the 5th wheel that you know he could fix if he tried long enough. If there is nothing wrong (fat chance) start breaking stuff. You have to think outside of the box in these situations. You can even make up problems that don’t exist. Those will be the hardest for him to fix and easiest for you to control. You also have to continually think ahead to the next project just encase he actually fixes one. You will find that after a short list of these projects he is going to avoid you like the plague. You will soon represent management to him and he already realizes that the less contact he has with management the happier he is. You will know you’re making progress when he starts putting in a grievance. That’s when you explain to him that domestic engineers have no union protection. --Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

BIRD FEEDER SYNDROME

2010-07-16T09:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. RV Shrink:

My husband and I have been feeding birds for forty years in our backyard. When we sold our home and began living full-time in our travel trailer, we decided one of our favorite past-times could easily continue with a tube feeder and a hummingbird feeder hanging from our window awnings wherever we parked. We get so much enjoyment from the birds that visit our various camping sites. Recently, while visiting Yellowstone National Park, a ranger stopped at our rig and chewed me up one side and down the other for feeding the birds. We were threatened with a ticket and a stiff fine if we did not remove the feeders from our trailer and discontinue feeding the animals in the park. I have complained all the way up the chain of command to the Secretary of the Interior. My husband thinks I should just drop it and move on with my life. Am I over reacting? I’m not stopping traffic feeding bears, I’m simply doing what 50 million other bird feeding enthusiasts do everyday in their backyard. Please help me heal.

--Busted in Geyser Basin

Dear Busted:

Been there, done that. I can feel your pain. I carry the same scars with me after more than 30 years. A ranger in Rocky Mountain National Park abused me like this in the 70’s, but I was a bit more guilty than you. I had a Droll Yankee tube feeder hanging from the front awning of my Airstream. I also had a clawless, and clueless cat, on the end of a leash, tied to the door knob. Just as the ranger was driving by, Buster came from under the trailer and launched for a grosbeak on the feeder. Thank goodness for me and the grosbeak, Buster came to the end of his rope before reaching his full potential. The ranger was out of his vehicle and all over me like a squirrel on a corn cob before I even knew what was going on. I took the feeder down and every time I saw the ranger coming after that ordeal, I would say to Buster, “Hey, Boo Boo, here comes Ranger Smith!” Buster lived for sixteen years and from that day forward his name was Boo Boo.

The point I am trying to make here is that from the rangers perspective, it might not be healthy in a National Park setting to be feeding animals in any form or fashion. You can still enjoy your bird feeding, but be careful what jurisdiction you are in. It is very possible that you are now on the Homeland Security Park Service Watch List as a bird feeding risk. Another infraction may cause you more grief than you want to deal with. I agree with your husband. You have to move on. If you are finding this difficult, you might seek professional help in the form of anger management. It is not uncommon for Rv’ers, who have had Park Rangers yell at them, to suffer from agonizing years of flashbacks.

Another way around strict Government rules, if you chose the path of Civil Disobedience, would be a more subtle form of bird feeding and attraction. Instead of a hummingbird feeder, hang flowers. Instead of offering birds seed, offer them water. Try a slow drip from a hanging milk jug onto a small rock with a depression. This will attract all kinds of animals to your site without attracting too many rangers. Control your stress and your bird feeding urges, or your stress and bird feeding urges will control you. --Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Can't Teach an Old Dog New Tricks

2010-02-11T16:09:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R. V. Shrink:

My wife and I travel in a small motorhome. It’s not like we are new at it, we have had this rig for eight years. We have taken it on many trips and we travel together well, until we have to park this sucker. It’s a guaranteed argument. I’m blind in one eye and have no depth perception. I like to have her stand behind the motorhome and make sure I don’t hit anything. She’s always telling me what the front of the unit is doing. I can see that. I want to know what the back is doing. She never stands where I can see her in the mirror and she can never hear me. I tried to work out some hand signals but lately all I have been getting is the middle finger. If you could give us a few pointers on how to work together, without creating a scene at every campground we visit, I would be eternally grateful.

--Backed Up in Boise

Dear Backed Up:

Don’t feel like the Lone Ranger. This is one of the oldest problems since Fred and Barney invented travel trailers. It’s very easy to lose your cool when you are trying to park your rig and it seems like your partner is not cooperating, but it takes two to tango. My first suggestion would be to have you amp up your backing skills and confidence. Find a large empty parking area and put out some markers, such as traffic cones. Practice makes perfect. A short rig is sometimes harder to backup than a longer rig. Yelling at your co-pilot in training is never going to make either of you happy campers. Try this therapy on your next outing. Every time you are about to blow your stack take three deep breaths, get out of your vehicle and calmly explain to your wife were you would like her to stand and what information you would like her to communicate to you.

Another suggestion would be to let her drive and you watch the back. She may have much more backing skill than you. Two eyes are better than one. If this does not work I would suggest you invest in a Recreational Vehicle Backup Camera. You can still go behind and watch, but with the camera your wife can be sure not to miss when she backs over you.

--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

Be a Pop-Up, not a 5th Wheel

2010-01-28T10:26:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:
I am a single women just new to traveling in a small Class B motorhome. It is not as easy as I had envisioned after reading Trailer Life and Motorhome magazines for years. Two of my biggest problems are small mechanical malfunctions and social isolation. I’m not mechanical, so even precautionary maintenance is a challenge for me and becoming expensive. The other thing I have noticed is just how friendly everyone is in a campground setting. A same state license plate can almost make you related. However, being single still seems to make me more of an outsider just as it did before I started traveling. The majority of fellow campers I meet are couples and they seem to bond more easily. Any suggestions on how I can maintain my rig and my campground relationships would be greatly appreciated. --Lonely in Lauderdale

Dear Lonely:
It’s the oldest relationship symptom in RV psychiatry. Professionally we call it the 5th Wheel Syndrome. You are subconsciously visualizing yourself as a fifth wheel in a historically couple oriented society. Your new lifestyle is the perfect setting to practice the art of parking your 5th wheel disorder. You have to stop thinking of yourself as a 5th wheel and start thinking of yourself as a pop-up camper. You need to pop-up in the middle of friendly campground gatherings and introduce yourself confidently.

Don’t worry about making a fool of yourself. If you are not comfortable, you can move to another campground tomorrow and never see these bozos again if it doesn’t work out. The other advantage of campground relationships is variety. Relationship roulette is winning friends of like minded thinking and interests -- it’s a numbers game. It has less to do with couples vs. singles and more to do with who you are and how you present yourself.

You will find people camped near you from all walks of life and social background. If your neighbor in the space left of you is anti-social, don’t worry, to the right of you will be an extrovert. You will run into people that see your license plate and strike up a conversation because they went through your state once. Even though it was on a train at night during a WWII troop movement, they find a connection. In 10 minutes you will know their whole life story and that they could die at any minute from one of several ongoing conditions they are being treated for. If none of these suggestions work out for you, there is the chance that the guy I answered two blogs back is looking for a co-pilot. His wife just caught a bus home.

As for your mechanical ineptitude, you must also be pro-active in your RV education or rich. Finding a competent RV mechanic while traveling is another form of roulette. In most cases, you pay $100 per hour and you have to leave your rig for a week to have your thermostat readjusted. You are sillier than a corn borer in a peach if you own an RV and do not take the time to learn the basics of the various systems. For under twenty bucks you can find a good RV manual that will walk you through most problems. The volume I have found helpful is Trailer Life’s RV Repair & Maintenance Manual by Bob Livingston If you can’t figure something out, you may want to combine you social and mechanical short comings and pop-up in some conversation and ask for mechanical help. Many a satisfying relationship has sprouted from a leaky sink. Happy Trails to you.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink

INTEGRATION OF THE ELIMINATION STATION

2010-01-26T11:05:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Stink (I mean Shrink):

I have an ongoing (no pun intended) problem with my husband. We live full time in a 28 ft. 5th wheel and have been traveling year-round since our retirement. We seem to function quite well in our small but comfortable space. The problem occurs every morning at about 7 a.m. My husband is not only very regular but consistent in his smelling up the whole rig. I have tried sprays and deodorants but nothing so far counteracts the barrage of stink he creates. I love to travel, and I love our lifestyle living in our Recreational Vehicle, but I dread every morning when nature calls my husband’s name. Any help you can spray my way would be greatly appreciated.

--Down in the Dumps in Deming

Dear Down in the Dumps:

Let’s turn the tables on the way you are feeling and turn this into a healthy activity not only for your husband but you also. First of all, your husband’s regularity is healthy and most likely because you have him eating a proper diet. Don’t fall to your temptation to change that diet and constipate the poor guy. Instead, turn your lemon scented air into lemonade. According to the newest data prepared by the U.S. Surgeon General the healthiest lifestyle includes not only low stress (RV Lifestyle) but the simple art of walking. Taking a short walk once a day will add, on average, seventeen years to a healthier life. If you were to schedule this activity at 7 a.m. every morning you would be killing two birds with one stone. About the time your husband is ready to flush, you will be flush, invigorated and greeting a beautiful sunrise. Traveling usually anchors you in beautiful places to walk and hike. Another suggestion, if walking isn’t your cup of tea, would be to tell your husband to take a hike. That’s right, send him to the campground comfort station. That will make him twice as healthy and get him moving even faster in the morning. Don’t expect him back too soon. That is where all the other women in the campground have sent their husbands. They get to lying to each other and you never know when their going to quit. Traveling usually means you are following mild weather. That should give you every opportunity to get out in the morning and fill your lungs with fresh air. Just for your husband’s safety you might want to consider turning all pilot lights off when you leave.

As an added note, you may want to check into Thetford Corporation’s newest RV toilet. High end motor coaches now come standard with a high tech BioFuel Flush System. It is a composting system that is also a waste regenerator. Accumulated waste is then blended into the diesel mixture through a series of baffled carburetors. They are proving to increase mileage by up to 3%, and eliminate (no pun intended) waste disposal. They are a great advancement in recreational vehicle design, but they create the same problem you have for those traveling behind them praying for a passing lane.

Good Luck. --Dr. R.V. Shrink

RV cockpit problems

2010-01-25T12:18:00.001-08:00

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:

When we bought our RV my wife and I decided we had to act as a team. Since our rig is so big I needed a copilot. My wife can read a map about as well as Columbus and that causes many arguments. I bought a GPS to solve the problem and now I find myself arguing with both my wife and the woman in the GPS. My wife also has a problem reading the leveling bubble. After the last bubble battle my copilot is threatening to take a bus home. What should I do? --Cockpit Problems in Las Cruces

Dear Cockpit:

Get to the bus station quick, you don’t want to miss it. You can then find the group “Loners on Wheels” and join up. Many people think the “Loners on Wheels” are single and widowed individuals that want to travel the RV Lifestyle and meet others with similar interests. You will find most of them are semi-widowed just like you. Like you they couldn’t get along in the cockpit and one or the other caught a bus home. You will find a sympathetic ear and a lot of good information on how to pilot solo. Consider a rear view camera and self-leveling jack system for starters. I would suggest you keep the GPS you have. It will give you someone to argue with and someone to blame when you are wrong. You will have to learn to enjoy solitude and Solitaire and learn to do the many things your spouse used to handle. If you find your spouse handled most everything, and did all the cooking, you might consider developing a taste for crow.
--Keep Smilin', Dr. R.V. Shrink