tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4180460645169293250.post8414322088324799849..comments2023-07-27T00:30:28.566-07:00Comments on RV SHRINK, Common Sense Peddler: RV Polar Expresspacktoterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08904292209126449778noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4180460645169293250.post-54110726125637274112015-12-26T14:07:35.344-08:002015-12-26T14:07:35.344-08:00I'm a Marriage and Family Therapist and RV Tra...I'm a Marriage and Family Therapist and RV Traveler. It's easy to tell folks to communicate, but marriage didn't come with a manual so it's sometimes hard to start the process to communication. Here are some basic rules:<br />1. Treat each other with kindness. Look up the word and follow the definition. We often treat spouses in ways we would never treat our friends. <br />2. When things get heated - set a time to "get back together," set a timer and do something else (think about what you want to convey, read a book, go lie down). The agreement is that nobody will chase the other or bother them during the mutual time-out.<br />3.Try this process for making the decision to stay or move somewhere 'nicer' for the duration:<br />a) each person writes a pro and con list for BOTH positions - in this case whether to stay with one partner in misery or to move on to somewhere more congenial.<br />b) each person write two other solutions. One might be move and stay with the cacti for a week or two and then go back to pineywoods; another might be to go for a week stay in a hotel; another might be that the uncomfortable spouse gets to choose the next destination or two etc. be creative.<br />c) Get back together and flip a coin. Heads the flipper talks first - tails the watcher talks first. As listener, since both get to take both parts, your job is show you are listening by repeating back to the talker sound bites of what you understand is being said. As talker your job is to make sure the listener understands what you are saying by trying again when the listener doesn't understand what you said - you're the communicator after all. Share your list of pros and cons with each other then play a little with the solution lists you wrote.<br />Bet something shifts. You might have fun, you might discover things about your own thinking and your partners that make you feel better. Who knows?<br />Most of all, BREATHE. In for 6 count, hold for 4 count, out for 8 count. That'll clear out the gunk from your brain and lungs so communication is easier.<br />Lizziehttp://twogalsgo.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4180460645169293250.post-457301527766556392015-12-26T06:35:56.756-08:002015-12-26T06:35:56.756-08:00Such wise words in a year when temperatures are ab... Such wise words in a year when temperatures are absolutely CRAZY! Dayton, OH hasn't hit cold yet - and Michigan is finally hoping snow will arrive. Thunderstorms north of Petoskey brought down wires, trees, but not the temperatures there. Lake Michigan was frozen in parts last year - but this year? Not even starting.<br /> Most important is not to spend your wonderful winters sitting and watching TV when you could be out - getting to know your area. Don't waste those years! Life is about today - and it sounds as if this couple could not have it much more conveniently lovely! <br />Jean (who is :Smilin!"<br />jeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03579185409969382282noreply@blogger.com