WHERE THERE IS SMOKE THERE IS "FIREWOOD"

Dear Dr. R.V. Shrink:

We have our thirteen-year-old grandson traveling with us this summer and my wife and I are enjoying him tremendously. However, we never get any alone time, if you catch my drift. My wife is paranoid he might come bounding in the trailer at any time. He will be with us for two months and does not like to take part in campground activities without one of us tagging along. Do you have any suggestions on building his confidence to do things on his own?                                                                                
                                  --Frustrated in Fargo

Dear Frustrated: 

The first thing you need is a code word. Make a joke of it. Start yelling “firewood” every time you approach the trailer, as if you are selling firewood. Your grandson will soon catch on and you will find him yelling "firewood" every time he comes back to the trailer. What this kid really needs is a paper route. Find out when the paper is delivered to the nearest campground store. Send your grandson for the paper an hour earlier than it arrives. Tell him if it isn’t in yet to wait for it. When you hear “firewood” you had better be done smoking. If this works for you your wife will really be surprised. Behind every successful man they say there is a surprised women.                                                                      
                      --Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

HOT TONGUE, COLD SHOULDER

Dear Doctor Shrink: 

We were trapped at an RV dealership in New Mexico for two weeks because it was a cold winter and our heater would not stay running. The mechanic pulled it out once and said it worked fine after bench testing it. He then sold us a new propane regulator and filled our coach tank with a drying agent at the tune of three hundred dollars. The heater would still not light, and we were then told we had electrical problems in our converter and the furnace was not getting enough juice. After two more dealers, and two more bills, we found out it was the main board. After this was replaced everything started working fine. I feel abused by incompetent and shady RV dealers who took advantage of our lack of mechanical skills. Knowing that the furnace could not have functioned on the first bench test we paid for, I feel we should get a refund for at least that service. My husband does not agree. He doesn’t like to rock the boat. He will usually do the right thing after he has tried everything else. This issue is causing tension between us. Should I just drop it or do you suggest I keep harping until he calls them.  
--Ripped Off Road Warrior  

Dear Ripped:

I don’t think your husband should call any of the dealers. He doesn’t seem to have the stomach for conflict and debate. I think you should call them. You sound like you understand the problem, have ample facts to prove your point, and the passion for debate it often takes to wear down a business that has made mistakes honestly or otherwise. I would give the dealer the benefit of the doubt. Don’t come out swinging no matter how upset you are. The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made. If you cannot come to some agreement, after the first attempt, it is simply a matter of persistence and volume control. I ran into a mechanic this winter who told me it took him fifteen years to discover he had no talent for fixing RV’s, but he couldn’t give it up because by that time he had a constant stream of people clamoring for his expertise. In the future make sure you do not send your husband in to do the negotiating. He is too easily bamboozled. Leave him in the parking lot and handle it yourself. Get an understanding of results expected before service fees, and never, I mean never, let them see you sweat. 

--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

Motorhome Middle Ground

Dear Dr. R. V. Shrink:

We live nine months of the year in a Class “C” motorhome. It is usually 27 feet of heaven. The only time I find it small is when my wife stays up late watching television. She is a night owl and I can’t sleep. Don’t tell me to buy ear plugs or earphones, I’ve tried both of those items. My wife gets so involved in her shows she starts crying or laughing both of which make the coach rock n’ roll. She also pops popcorn when I am trying to sleep. I need a solution before I develop a severe case of sleep apnea.

--Sleepless in Seattle

  

Dear Sleepless:

There is only one way to eat an elephant -- one bite at a time. Your first step should be a good set of support jacks to eliminate the coach movement. Then you need to discover the things that you do that annoy your wife when you get up at dark thirty and she is trying to sleep off her wild night of popcorn bingeing. Never go to the negotiating table empty handed.  Being on the same schedule in a small space would make it much easier on both of you. If you can’t work out an arrangement you will both need to work on your consideration skills. Nothing is easy to the unwilling. I know you have already tried ear plugs but they are not the only solution. A fan nearby will create a constant noise level that you might find soothing as well as noise insulation against exploding popcorn. If none of these ideas work, you might try installing a smoke alarm above the toaster. When you get up to watch the early morning farm report on TV, the toaster will trip the smoke alarm about the time the coffee begins percolating. This will wake your wife and bring her to the breakfast (negotiating) table that I mentioned earlier. Unless you want to buy a larger motorhome, don’t flinch too early. Hold out for good faith bargaining that will work for both of you. The most important trip you may take in your motorhome is meeting your wife half way to the popcorn popper.

--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink

HOSTING AN ARGUMENT

Dear Dr. R. V. Shrink:

My wife Helen and I just had a big argument because I told her she was short with the campground host. We came into the campground, with our tent camper, late evening, and the host reluctantly opened his motorhome door to talk to us. I think he was watching a ball game and we disturbed him. My wife thought he was rude and was very upset with him. I tried to explain that the campground host program is not a 24/7 job, usually pays with free rent, and is designed more to supervise an area, not monitor and police it around the clock. When I told her the campground host is not like the doorman at the Ritz, Mount St. Helen went off. Can you straighten one of us out. Preferably her. Thanks in advance.   

--Squabble in Sequoia 

Dear Squabble:

You are absolutely right in your understanding of the campground host job, but you need some work on your explanation delivery to Helen. Give her a break. Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about. Sometimes after a day of driving and getting in late, nerve endings can be a bit frayed, fuses a bit short and sarcasm levels a bit high. 

At this point in the day everyone should put themselves in the other persons moccasins. In a perfect world the host would see that you are in late and having a tough time. Helen might consider the host has had enough problems for one day and is trying to relax and watch his game. 

You have the hardest job. You have to be a spectator and not a referee. I think you were doing fine until the “Ritz” remark. My suggestion would be to get Helen a campground host job. This will save you some rent, give her a broader view of the many duties a campground host is responsible for, and a glimpse into the hassles many of them have to deal with daily.  I must temper all these remarks with the fact that hosts come in all varieties and some have a much more compassionate disposition than others. Helen could have been partially right about this host. You should always try to meet her halfway unless she is a poor judge of distance. I’m not suggesting you and Helen ignore your disagreements. “Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; and argument an exchange of ignorance.” But, one thing you should never do is argue in a tent. When you go stomping out of a tent and slam the flap behind you, there are no sound effects.  

--Keep Smilin’, Dr. R.V. Shrink